Rejected from Rejected reading

Jon Friedman loves the dis. His popular reading series, “The Rejection Show,” gives a forum to writers, comics and jilted lovers who find triumph in rebuffs and denunciations. And his new anthology, Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Canceled, immortalizes them in print. To commemorate his Wednesday 25 reading of essays he rejected from Rejected, we asked Friedman to tutor us on how to make a comeback after getting snubbed, using a few almighty flunkies as our divine inspiration.

The reject: Duckie Dale from Pretty in Pink
The rejection: Dale was shunned by his BFF, Andie Walsh, for whom he harbored an emotionally crippling crush; she went to prom with that smug toolbox Blane McDonnagh instead.
The defense: He may not have gotten the girl (and why would he even want to, when she was parading around in that awful sack dress?), but Dickie is the boy we remember, an underdog who stole our hearts in the end. “It’s more interesting to be nerdy, struggling and triumphant than to be hot, rich and given whatever you want,” says Friedman. Amen.

The reject: Edward Scissorhands
The rejection: The kindly mad scientist who built him kicked the bucket before he could give Eddie a pair of functioning hands, leaving him utterly alone in the world with a not-so-California-casual wardrobe, crap social skills and, um, blades for fingers.
The defense: “Edward used what made him different to express his art,” says Friedman; he became an accomplished hairdresser, topiary sculptor and every teen goth’s fantasy.

The reject: Eliot Spitzer
The rejection: He boffed some hookers and was forced to resign.
The defense: Spitzy was shamed out of office, but he also proved that there are still one or two available gigs out there for aspiring journalists. What if your current coworkers decide you’re not worth having around? “Repair your image by owning up to it and slowly finding a way to climb back up,” says Friedman. Like slithering onto the Slate masthead with a monthly financial column.

The reject: Jennifer Hudson
The rejection: Girlfriend came in seventh on season three of American Idol, shocking a nation that completely forgot to vote for her.
The defense: Friedman notes how Hudson used her crash-and-burn elimination as “a stepping-stone to achieve what most people only dream of.” That would include bringing the motion-picture house down with her rendition of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” in Dreamgirls, and winning an Academy Award. Suck on that, Seacrest.

The reject: Jesus Christ
The rejection: J-Dog was betrayed by his closest friends, had his message of salvation laughed at, and was arrested, tried and ultimately crucified. Harsh.
The defense: The Boss Upstairs doesn’t resurrect just anyone, does he? “Jesus bounced back and gained millions of followers,” observes Friedman. “Kind of like the end of the movie Pay It Forward.” Or The Hills!

GET BURNED! “Rejected from Rejected”: Housing Works Bookstore and Cafe, 126 Crosby St between Houston and Prince Sts (212-334-3324). Wed 25 at 7pm, free.

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