Portable fans

BIG FISH STORY Gethard comes to terms with his audience.

No two performances of Magic Box of Stories, happening Wednesday 11 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, are the same. The audience chooses which autobiographical tales Chris Gethard will share by drawing cards from the aforementioned box, and there’s only enough time for four or five. At a recent installment, Gethard announced, “I’d like to apologize in advance: In four of the nine stories, human feces appears, so it’s statistically possible this will be an entirely shit-related show.”

It didn’t turn out to be that way, but the non-poo-centric pieces—about an accidental herpes test at a gay clinic, and a run-in by a swamp with a seven-foot-tall hillbilly who threatened to rape him, among others—are equally candid and far stranger. Gethard, 28, has a knack for being in weird places at interesting times, a somewhat uncontrollable characteristic that can be a real boon to a professional storyteller. In Magic Box, the comic claims that “fate or whatever you believe in” has granted him this blessing of story fodder as restitution for giving him “a huge forehead and a last name that spells out get hard.”

His stories bear a combination of fearless, shameless honesty and self-effacing humility. And almost all occur in his home state, New Jersey, which, by virtue of its proximity, is another boon: On Saturday 7 Gethard literally takes this show on the road. At 10am, a chartered bus will depart Chelsea for a four-hour guided tour through West Orange and New Brunswick. “Last week I went to the house I grew up in and knocked on the door. The guy was cool; he’s gonna let 55 people come inside so I can say into a bullhorn, ‘And this is the basement where my mom caught me drinking.’?”

The idea is a gem, but Gethard doesn’t take all the credit. You might say his fans demanded it. There is an online club called Gethard’s GethTards—the Facebook group is almost 200 strong—which is the product of both sincere adoration and a joke taken too far. It started at ASSSSCAT 3000. Every time Gethard appeared as the guest monologist, a group of kids, many of whom are improv students, showed up to cheer and shout his name. Horatio Sanz dubbed them the GethTards and a movement was born; T-shirts bearing the comedian’s face and the group’s insignia are for sale at CafePress.

“It’s one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me,” Gethard explains. Considering the swamp-monster-molester thing (his existence has also been documented by the police, BTW), that statement is saying a lot. “They come to shows with pictures of me—but it’s a joke! I think they do understand that that’s a really stupid way to behave. I actually had a serious talk about it with my therapist.” His first discussion-board post after joining the Facebook group: “The existence of this group is humiliating.”

Anyway, here’s how it went down: The GethTards started a thread about loving Chris so much, they wanted to have a convention in Jersey and visit the locales of his youth. Gethard, unable to decipher where the line fell between mockery and veracity, posted, simply, “I am calling your bluff.” He chartered a bus, named the event Magic Bus of Stories, and posted it on the UCBT website. It sold out in 90 minutes—mostly to the ’Tards, although a few strangers did notice the listing in time to score seats (Gethard perused the reservations).

But the general public will have its chance. The comic is already planning a return trip in the spring. “It would be hilarious to have 55 people jump in my parents’ pool,” he says. Recalling Andy Kaufman’s famous Carnegie Hall show, after which he took the entire audience out for milk and cookies, he adds, “I want this to be my shitty, less talented version of that.”

As for the non-’Tards making the virgin voyage, Gethard is surprised. “Why would you come on this bus tour? Why would you pay $30 to relive the life of someone you’ve never heard of?” Because it’s going to be very, very funny. But Gethard’s inability to understand his popularity, his trademark humility, is part of his appeal. It’s a vicious, if creatively fruitful, cycle. Fortunately, according to the UCBT website, his therapist will also be on board.

Magic Bus of Stories happens Sat 7. Magic Box of Stories happens Wed 11 at the UCBT.

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