Combo classes

Illustration: Tom Nick Cocotos

Koga
Manhattan Movement and Arts Center, 248 W 60th St between Amsterdam and West End Aves (212-787-1178, manhattanmovement.com). Mon 7pm, $20.
Considering its name owes more to yoga than kickboxing, I thought this hybrid class of Koga would include more breathing and om-ing than kicking and punching. After just five minutes of the 90-minute session, I realized I was painfully wrong. I was also painfully regretting the snack pack of Fritos I ate for fuel on my walk over. My class was taught by founder Jon Koga’s sidekick Leesa Osborn (they alternate nights when their schedules allow), who I’d call spunky at the least. We started with simple head and shoulder rolls (easy!) and built up to various kicks, punches and squats (not easy!), and then kicks and punches while squatting (not even close to easy!). We worked the left leg for what seemed to be countless minutes and moved on to repeat the excruciating series for the right leg without a break. “Keep moving; don’t stop!” Leesa yelled after each cycle. How she was able to talk and Koga at the same time is beyond me; I could barely swallow my own saliva. We took a break halfway through to hydrate and then jumped back in. The calming yoga didn’t occur until the very end, but the break was much appreciated. “Come back when Jon’s teaching,” Leesa told me. I liked how she assumed I’d ever be able to walk again.—Lisa Freedman

Nia
JCC in Manhattan, 334 Amsterdam Ave at 76th St (646-505-4444, jccmanhattan.org). July 11 at 6:15pm, free. Or visit nianewyork.com for other times, locations and prices.
An amalgam of nine forms of movement that spans martial arts (aikido, tae kwon do, tai chi), dance (modern, jazz) and yoga, Nia sounds absurdly complex. To my surprise, this no-impact workout performed barefoot is anything but. My Saturday class was packed with women, save for one older man. We were instructed to explore the energy around us, motion like we were “digging in the garden,” and roll around in what’s referred to as “floor play”—but also, most important, to remain aware of our body. Nia eschews the “no pain, no gain” philosophy, so I didn’t feel like I was doing much (other than making a complete fool of myself). Yet somehow, I left feeling sweaty and sore. Nia New York cofounder Caroline Kohles later explained that the seemingly spastic movements are designed to develop “neuroplasticity,” by moving every part of the body, and to help open up the joints. Considering it requires that you don’t take yourself too seriously, perhaps it helps open up the mind, too.—Cristina Velocci

Stripperobixxx
Gold’s Gym, 250 W 54th St between Broadway and Eighth Ave (212-307-7760, goldsgym.com). Sat 1:45pm; free for members, nonmembers $15.
Christy, my instructor (eight months pregnant and due for maternity leave), insists that her class isn’t about teaching people to be “hookers.” Rather, she says, it’s “empowering,” full of “strong female energy and camaraderie.” She isn’t lying. Surrounded by eight ladies in a darkened room—men aren’t excluded, though they rarely attend—I eventually enjoyed sashaying in imaginary heels, twirling my shirt over my head (layers recommended) and spanking my own ass in front of a mirror. The pole and lap-dance routines forced me to release my inhibitions through moves sultry and strange. The crawling sequence was by far the most grueling and challenging—made even more challenging for this awkward beginner by the slinky, downright smokin’ slither of the very pregnant teacher next to me. I went home with sore shoulders, a tightened core and something to show my fella besides my sweaty tank top. Take that, step aerobics.—Heather Moore

Bo-Hi-Do
Equinox, 897 Broadway between 19th and 20th Sts (212-780-9300, equinoxfitness.com). Mon, Wed 7pm; free for gym members, nonmembers $35.
Instructor Angel Alicea is as chiseled as a statue at the Met, and it’s no wonder how he got that way. This intensely strenuous class combines boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai and cardio. If you’re not wailing away at a punching bag, you’re doing push-ups, squats, air kicks or some insane combination thereof. Even the “cool-down” period calls for approximately 72,396 crunches. Twenty-five minutes into the class, I planted my miserable, gasping, beet-purple self in an upright fetal position against the wall. I’d had enough. When Sergeant Angel came sniffing around, I told him he had a choice: He could let me take a breather, or he could mop my vomit off his studio floor. The sarge kindly retreated, and several classmates cast me pitying glances. It was clear that I was out of my league; one buff, empathetic blond even whispered, “Don’t feel bad—this is the hardest class this gym offers.” (Now she tells me.) The lesson? If you’re training for the Olympics, or maybe a Karate Kid remake audition, Angel can probably kick your butt straight into the next stratosphere. But if you’re like me, and struggle up the stairs at the 14th St–Eighth Ave station, this combo class may rank among the most brutally unpleasant experiences of your young adult life.—Ashlea Halpern

Cardiolates
Pilates on Fifth, 501 Fifth Ave between 41st and 42nd Sts (212-687-8885, pilatesonfifth.com). Mon 7pm, Tue 7:30pm, Wed 6pm, Thu 5:30pm; $22.
Cardiolates is a Pilates-infused workout created by identical twins and former Rockettes Kimberly and Katherine Corp. The idea is that you can get your fat-burning-cardio fix in addition to the conditioning and alignment benefits that Pilates offers. If you’re like me, you’ll also get a good dose of the giggles: The cardio part takes place on mini trampolines, which make the class—populated by a handful of youthful women led by the fabulous Ron, who at moments was definitely channeling Richard Simmons—feel more like a slumber party than an exercise routine. After several initial minutes of focused core work (it really burns!), we mounted our trampolines and set to work putting our sports bras through the toughest crash test since the invention of the pogo stick. At first, it was easy (see above: giggles and slumber parties). About 20 minutes in, the nonstop jumping paired with hand-weight tricks and repetitive leg kicks started taking their toll. While I never reached heart-pounding exhaustion, 35 minutes of bouncing plus that initial abs routine made this a full-body workout. That’ll I’ll regret tomorrow, no doubt.—Kate Lowenstein

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