What’s the frequency?

NEVER HAS SEX

Photograph: Neil Beckerman

TOO BUSY
Straight female, 27, single
“As a teenager, I lived under the very strict rule of my very strict mom, so there wasn’t much chance of getting it on; then, when I was 17, my mom had a health crisis from which she has yet to recover. Now I work 40-plus hours (for an adult company, no less!), still handle my mother’s care and go to school part-time. When I do have me time, dating/sexing is usually at the very bottom of the list of things to do.”

OVER IT
Straight male, 28, married
“A few things happened at once [in my relationship]: My wife gained weight and became very self-conscious about it, we had lots of stress, and then she got pregnant and I got bored and lost interest. At first I thought I was just losing interest in sex with her, but when I saw a few escorts (which she doesn’t know about), I found that I really didn’t have much interest in sex whatsoever. Funny enough, I don’t really miss it, and it doesn’t really bother me. I think part of it has to do with the full-time stress of work and family. Also, a big part for me has been that when I look at my wife, I see partner/mother/family, and it’s very hard to ‘flip a switch,’ and for it to be ‘sexy time.’ ”

SEEKS DOMINATRIX
Straight male, 33, single
“Being a submissive man dramatically reduces my options to find partners. The number of dominant women compared to submissive men is about one to 1,000, making it almost impossible to find someone for a casual relationship—much less anything more than casual.”

VIRGIN
Straight female, 22, single
“I’m a virgin because I’m scared to get hurt—I was recently diagnosed with lichen sclerosus. It’s not fatal or contagious, but it’s a nasty little disease. Right now, I have bright white spots on my labia and vulva. The spots are where the skin has atrophied. I have no pain, but the doctors tell me I may. Eventually, my skin may tear during intercourse. The skin may fuse together, which will keep me from ever being able to give birth vaginally. But I think the spots are ugly, and it makes me not want to have sex with anyone. I feel monstrous.”

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