The perv's guide to NYC

Manhattan

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The Body Archive Gallery
Whether the fetish du jour is scarification or rope bondage, this is one art gallery that never shies away from the controversial or sexy. Gallerista Steven Speliotis has several projects in the works, including an exhibit featuring the photos of Efraim Gonzalez, famed for his candids of old-school transvestites and prostitutes. 9 Ninth Ave between Little W 12th and 13th Sts (no phone)

Conversio Virium
Columbia isn’t all stuffy academia—just ask members of Conversio Virium, one of the nation’s oldest on-campus BDSM education groups. It meets every Monday during the academic year from 9 to 11pm at Hamilton Hall (1130 Amsterdam Ave at 116th St). Sessions typically welcome a notable member of the kink and BDSM community; president Elizabeth B. says that past talking points have included bondage, knife play, hypnotism and flogging. Membership is offered to Columbia undergrads after they’ve attended three meetings, though anyone can show up to an event, including townies. conversiovirium.org

DDevious Delights
After a four-month hiatus, this swingers’ club is back in action and on the prowl for a new permanent location (it was pushed out of its last space, on 29th Street). On the agenda: the intimate party PlayGroup, designed to be smaller and more action-packed. “It’s very intense,” says DDD founder Saul. “You can have 15 to 20 people in a pile sometimes.” ddeviousdelights.com

LeRoi Manhattan
LeRoi has gotten its fair share of pussy. And cock. And nipples. Store manager and piercer Pete says dozens of New Yorkers stop by the shop every week to get holes punched in their nether regions. Clients range from “girls turning 19 to 50-year-old soccer moms, trying to spice things up.” 174 Ludlow St between E Houston and Stanton Sts (212-253-6402, leroimanhattan.com )

Poleriders
The city’s first wheel-drawn pole-dancing spectacular has cycled its way around Union Square and the Lower East Side. The mobile show enlists about a half dozen dancers, who generally grind to their own iPod tunes. “Manhattan oozes steamy sex,” says founder Andrew Katzander. “Where do you think all the humidity comes from?” For show schedule and pole-dancing class info, visit poleriders.net.

The Spanking Club of New York
SCONY founder Ms. Margaret has been in the spanking biz for more than ten years, hosting monthly events at the LGBT Community Center (208 W 13th St between Seventh and Eighth Aves; 212-620-7310, gaycenter.org). Bottoms can choose to get spanked with or without clothes, though most of the ladies rock a thong. There are spaces for public play and cubicles equipped with Western saddles for a little private action. Scony.com

The Standard Hotel
Get thee to the High Line for an impromptu peep show. Reports of schlongs and sexcapades visible through the hotel’s floor-to-ceiling windows are rampant. “It’s all day every day,” says Stephanie of London Meats, which sits right across the street. She’s seen everything from movies being made to naked women prancing in front of the windows. The guests’ antics have even thrown a wrench in production—the loading dock’s male employees are captivated by the show. “Everybody stops working,” she says. “Two even have binoculars.” 848 Washington St at 13th St (212-645-4646, standardhotels.com)

The Museum of Sex
There are 24,000 erotic artifacts at MoSex (233 Fifth Ave at 27th St; 212-689-6337, museumofsex.com), including 19th-century brothel guides and bare-booty coins used as peep-show currency in Times Square. Even the building is rumored to be a former whorehouse. Mark your calendar for two big MoSex goings-on: the November unveiling of its brand-new store, and the October 1 opening of photographer Michael Grecco’s “Naked Ambition,” featuring roughly 70 slick portraits of Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, Ron Jeremy and other glory ho’s.

The West Side Club
“Sex is not permitted here: [If] we find out somebody does that, we kick them out,” says one WSC staffer who asks to remain anonymous. “This is a social club, not a sex club.” So what does a $40-a-year membership to this exclusive Chelsea locale buy? Round-the-clock access to showers, a locker room and suites (in which the only furniture is a bench). Of course, rumor has it that you go here for more than a steamy rub-a-dub-dub. We found several Craigslisters looking to hook up here and blog entries about sexual rendezvous at WSC. 27 W 20th St between Broadway and Sixth Ave (212-691-2700, westsideclubnyc.com)

Go deeper

Comstock Films
Started in 1995, this husband-and-wife production company specializes in crafting “tenderhearted romantic comedies, shot documentary-style with explicit sex scenes.” Although husband Tony is skeptical about Manhattan’s inherent sexiness (“People come here to work—they don’t come to fuck”), there is something to be said for the fact that Comstock’s first crop of featured couples are all Manhattanites. comstockfilms.com

Dark Alley Media
Porno king Owen Hawk (see page 20) runs the very raunchy Dark Alley Media from the fifth floor of a building in Columbus Circle, and has worn every hat in the business: producer, director and star. Dark Alley’s first movie was Mutiny, shot aboard the Frying Pan. “We did the whole thing on a microbudget, probably $7,000, and pulled a ton of favors to get it done,” says Hawk. “It’s the story of an evil captain who abuses his crew until they launch a mutiny against him—which of course means a gang bang in porn world.” darkalley.com

Femme Productions
Candida Royalle, a former adult-film star whose feminist leanings inspired her to establish a porn empire devoted to chick-pleasing films, knew Manhattan was the place to be. “The ladies of Porn Valley are all, like, from the Midwest—perfect milk-fed little girls that aren’t smart or interesting,” says the Femme Productions founder, who’s based in Soho. “There’s uniqueness in New York.” candidaroyalle.com

The Manhattan Madam
“The glass ceiling in business is so low for women you have to lay down,” jokes Kristin “Manhattan Madam” Davis, a hedge-funder-cum-escort-queen who ran her empire from an apartment in the Corinthian at 38th Street and First Avenue. Though her business hit some notable speed bumps shortly after ex-governor Eliot Spitzer joined the fold, she says the Manhattan escort scene is kickin’—adding that there is “about one girl working on every block.” manhattanmadam.com

New York’s sexiest bull
What is it about the Wall Street bull? The poor thing has endured multiple naked/sexual ordeals over the past year, including a Zach Hyman photo shoot (he of naked-at-the-Met fame), an underwear-clad dude passed out atop him and the (symbolic?) painting blue of his bronze genitals.—Amanda Younger

The stats

162: Sets of fake boobs jiggling lady lumps superstar plastic surgeon Dr. Darrick Antell (antell-md.com) has implanted in Manhattanites over the past year. Antell says most Manhattan women go up one cup size, or 250 to –350ccs
19–58: The age range of Antell’s boob-job patients in 2009
3: The number of plastic surgeons’ wives Antell has operated on
7: The number of Golden Pasties burlesque dancer Angie Pontani has won; they’re considered the Oscars of the burlesque world, and the crowning jewel of the annual New York Burlesque Festival. This year’s awards ceremony will go down at (Le) Poisson Rouge on October 4. thenewyorkburlesquefestival.com

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Sex Issue 2009
The ultimate New York City sex guide