Happy trails

For a hetero hookup
Mountain Creek Ski Resort
200 Route 94, Vernon, NJ (973-846-8128, mountaincreek.com)
Leave the classiness to those blue bloods in Aspen: Mountain Creek is a little slice of the Jersey Shore nestled in the Vernon Valley, and you know what that means—lots of horny people. The only thing the young and single like more than hitting the 60-acre park (filled with rails, bumps and other things that sound like drug slang) is blowing off steam at the resort’s bars. The laid-back head to Discovery Deck Bar for horseshoes, free pizza and beer pong, while the club kids enjoy glow sticks and Red Bull drink specials at Kink.
Getting there: Local ski shops run weekend and day trips (see page 31). Or you can hop on a NJ Transit bus at Port Authority; a direct round-trip shuttle costs $20.50 and comes with a $10 discount on your lift ticket.

For a cheap date
Windham Mountain
33 Clarence D. Lane Rd, Windham, NY (518-734-4300, windhammountain.com)
Want to show your special someone a good time without making them think they’re too special? Head to Windham, the resort that’s the epitome of moderation. Goldilocks would love this place: Its 1,600 vertical feet of skiing and boarding aren’t too easy or too hard. Roughly two hours away, it’s not too close or too far. Better yet, the price is just right—a midweek ticket costs only $50.
Getting there: Book a prime-time weekend trip through NYCSKI & Board (nycski.com), which will get you a lift ticket and transportation to and from the mountain for a tidy 82 clams.

For a gay hookup
Belleayre Mountain
181 Galli Curci Road, Highmount, NY (845-254-5600, belleayre.com)
Chris French, the founder of Ski Bums, the world’s largest club for gay and lesbian skiers, is organizing two separate trips (one’s all-female) to Belleayre this season. Why? “They have a really good variety of terrain,” he explains. Plus, its distance from the city—about three hours—keeps the riffraff away. But the best thing about Belleayre is its proximity to the retro Roxbury Motel and the fantastic cocktail lounge that French describes as “the ad hoc gay bar for that area of the Catskills.”
Getting there: Go to Ski Bums (ski-bums.org) and sign up for its trip on Saturday, March 21.

For cheesy couples
Camelback Mountain Resort
1 Camelback Rd, Tannersville, PA (570-629-1661, skicamelback.com)
The Poconos are the romance capital of the world—or at least northeastern Pennsylvania—so reignite that passion at Camelback. Love will be in the air as you toss the rug rats into their newly expanded nursery and hit the slopes for some night skiing. Keep the love flowing and stay with one of the resort’s randy lodging partners (caesarspoconoresorts.com). Whether you choose the Roman Tower at Pocono Palace (complete with floor-to-ceiling columns and arches) or the Champagne Tower by Cleopatra at Paradise Stream (a four-level Egyptian-themed suite), both have that symbol of enduring love—a champagne glass-shaped bathtub for two!
Getting there: Since it’s a mere hour and a half from the city, car rental is the easiest and most cost-effective method of travel.

For the hottest ski instructors
Stowe Mountain Resort
5781 Mountain Rd, Stowe, VT (800-253-4754, stowe.com)
Nothing’s sexier than a ski instructor with an accent, so you’d better head to this ski and snowboard haven. It has more than 200 dedicated instructors, a handful of whom come through Stowe’s international program from places such as Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia and Chile. Plus, its website boasts that its “instructors make lasting connections with their students.”
Getting there: Though Amtrak is a viable option (for as little as $48 each way), you can save time by flying JetBlue from JFK to Burlington, Vermont, for less than $50 each way, and then hailing a 40-minute cab ride to the resort.

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