The Julia Allison on Dating challenge: Response 6

[Ed note: Since the point of this challenge is for people to demonstrate writing ability, we have left these reponses untouched by editing. Not even a spell check.]

A Reaction to Temporary Rational Abstinence if there is such a thing
By Lauren Billings

I’ve held out on sex for myself and I’ve made guys hold out for sex. Hell, I’ve also had guys hold out on me. In all of this giving and getting these are the things I’ve learned.

Have sex for yourself. If you want to have sex on the first date, then you should. Abstaining to keep a guy interested is an instant admission of the perverted social racketeering that occurs. If you conquer a dude that you want to conquer, you would assume that the sex would be somewhat satisfying for both parties. Perhaps satisfying enough to keep him interested for another go at it. If he isn’t, then you saved yourself the bother of finding that out down the line. And you got laid, like you wanted. Chemistry is tricky. Does the chemistry stop after the sexual tension is broken? Then waiting was a waste. Sex can be a tool to find out if a guy is worth hanging on to or worth ditching and not just based on his competence in the bedroom.

How are you supposed to hold out for Mr. Right if you can’t have some meaningless sex in the process? Is meaningless sex the meaning of life? Probably not, but it will keep you from dating somebody you aren’t into just to have a date to your best friend from high school’s wedding. Wouldn’t that be a shame too, miss a great opportunity to mess around with a groomsmen you’ll never see again. Abstaining just for the sake that women have an alleged allure if they wait is dumb. Having sex doesn’t make you a slut, by the above standard; it just makes you a man.

Sexless vacations are good for the mind. Get your head out of the gutter and go to a museum. It’s a great way to enjoy “date” things alone. Call it a practice date. I’ve never done one, but I would bet that there are chicks out there that would. Get interested in things you didn’t know you like. Broaden your horizons, so when you do meet some handsome guy at the Met gift shop you have something to talk about at dinner before you give up your briefly reclaimed virginity. It’ll be easier for him to remember the girl he banged from the American Museum of Natural History if you guys talked about something deep, like say the Big Bang theory.

Have as much sex as you can. When it rains it pours. This is no lie. Men sense desirable women. They want what they can’t have, they want what their best friend’s have, and they’ll want you. Walk around with bed head hair like you just took a roll in the hay. Heads will turn. You’re the “fun” new girl at school who everyone wants to meet. Might I reference Emily Valentine (90210), yeah I know she said she was a virgin; the point is everyone thought she was a hussy. So have sex or don’t. Say you do or say you don’t. Just when it gets down to it, do what you want to. Because waiting a magic number of dates to let a guy slide your new panties down your leg doesn’t mean he’ll be sticking around to take care of you and your cats.