Overheard in outdoor bars

Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden

230 Fifth

“When I have leggings on, I’m shameless.”

“It’s like a scenic garden up here.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you want to get married?”

“Can you take a picture of us, please? Because I can’t take it myself.”

A girl, after spilling her drink: “Guys, that sucked. Now my drink is gone.”

“Those people are obviously tourists. Or Germans.”

Bar Reis

“You’re the only one out here. Would you mind if I took off my shirt?"

Cha Cha’s

“Have a little fun! You’re in freakin’ Coney Island!”

A man to his five-year-old daughter: “Most of these people, they’re drunks. Either that or they’re junkies. Do you know what that is? A drug addict.”

“I almost face-planted in front of the Porta John!”

Stonehome Wine Bar

A patron, about a bottle of wine: “It’s like drinking a pool.”

“This must be a good restaurant ’cause they have, you know, this whole prix-fixe thing.”

Spuyten Duyvil

“There’s a bug in my beer. Oh well.”

Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden

“No way am I paying $175 to see the Mets. So I said, ‘Let’s go to the beer garden.’”

“Dude, I’m gonna kill this kielbasa. But I’ll pass on the slivovitz…shit’s like gasoline.”

Franklin Park

“Apparently, people are willing to come to Crown Heights.”

“Where are we?”

Loreley

Guy 1: “Can I get some of that hot dog?”
Guy 2: “I don’t think they call it a hot dog.”

Hotel on Rivington

“Life goes on. It’s shocking.”

“$30 dollars for two glasses of wine? Are you serious? And I ordered white, not red.”

“Those guys look like a night of fun. I bet they’re from Jersey.”

Guy: “Do you smoke?”
Girl: “No.”
Guy: “But you look like a smoker. Are you sure?”

“You guys have been dating for one week and you’ve already broken up, like, 18 times.”

“I have to pray for you.”

“He’s doing much better than I am, and I drive a BMW.”

“I am twenty-fucking-two years old. I am too young to go to work, go home, watch TV and go to bed, and then the next day go to work, go home, watch TV and go to bed. So I head to a bar every night instead.”

Guy: “What do you do?”
Girl: “I’m a translator.”
Guy: “Which language?”
Girl: “Spanish.”
Guy: “But I don’t speak Spanish. Excuse me.” [Guy walks away.]

“This is part one of my plan to be a better cowboy.”

“You went to Harvard, right? Do you have an accent?”

“Is that a hot tub up here or a public pool?”

Girl 1: “I had one drink, and I was seeing double. It was way scary.”
Girl 2: “Did you check if your drink was dyed blue?”

“I am Slumdog Millionaire. If I went back to India I’d be pimpin’.”

“Excuse me, did you just say ‘coup de grace’? I love that saying.”

“This is a kick-ass rooftop bar. Look at the Chrysler Building way the fuck out there. It used to be the tallest but then they built the Empire State Building, and then they built the Sears Tower.” [Points to what he erroneously believes is the Sears Tower]

“I think that chick just pick-pocketed me.”

Girl 1: “I am so serious right now.”
Girl 2: “Is that your serious face?”

“I never see people smoking Marlboro Reds. You must be European.”

“You see those buildings over there? I thought that was Union Square, but it’s midtown.”

“Who wants to see a magic trick?”

Compiled by Andrew Frisicano, Celia Shatzman, Andrea Rosen and Bret Stetka

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