Brunch violations

Photograph: Michael Kirby

CRIME Abusing the all-you-can-drink deal
When bottomless drinks lead to doing body shots off the busboy before teatime, you’ve gotten more than your money’s worth.
VIOLATORS Cindy, Aymii, Tania, Teddy and Rachel, Manhattan
This brunch bunch arrived at bustling West Side spot HK (523 Ninth Ave at 39th St; 800-781-0466, hkhellskitchen.com) at noon, fired up the $14.95 all-you-can-drink brunch option a moment later and was blotto by 2pm. “How many drinks have you had, ma’am?” I asked Cindy, as she mopped up a spilled mimosa from her skirt. “I’m not sure. I always see it as one full drink, because they just keep refilling it,” she says. But this group believes in quantity over quaffability, as evidenced when they ordered screwdrivers and told their server to “hold the OJ.” I’d lecture them, but their early-evening hangover should be punishment enough.

CRIME Overstaying your welcome
You’ve eaten your scrambled eggs. Now scram!
VIOLATORS Ernest, Bruno and Zach, Manhattan
These self-proclaimed “brunch junkies” got their fix—and then some. For six hours, after eating their frittatas and downing countless Bellinis, they continued to sit and gab while the bill sat on the table and the hungry diners in line kept giving them stare-downs. “I get dirty looks, but I don’t care,” sassed Ernest. “If I could get a desk in here to work, I’d spend even more time here.” Brunching nine-to-five is no way to make a living.

CRIME Unreasonable substitutions
If you want it your way, eat brunch at Burger King.
VIOLATOR Maria, Brooklyn
My server Derek quickly became an informant, narking on a demanding woman at the table next to me. “She ordered the asparagus-and-brie omelette but asked to substitute spinach and cheddar for the asparagus and brie,” he tattled. “I suggested something else, but she wanted what she wanted, and we got it for her.” What does the picky perp have to say for herself? “I was craving a spinach-and-cheddar omelette and that was the closest item they had to it on the menu!” she says. At least she kept the eggs.

See more TONYPD