Grateful Graduate

Dear Old Schooler: I just graduated, and I have this mentor that continues to do amazing things to help me in my career. I've said thank you so many times and given her gifts and cards. What can I do to truly express my gratitude for her help that won't get annoying after a while? —Eternally Grateful, 22, Brooklyn

Harry Miller, 85, Upper East Side
It all depends on the situation, you know, if the person is needy or if the person has everything. The boss is likely to be well-off, so you can't give anything of great value. I think something sentimental, like flowers. I think a dozen ruby-red roses is a wonderful thing, and a box of candy with it, too. People really appreciate it. You can't give perfume, that's too personal. You can do a painting if you're talented. That's what I do, I do a special painting and I frame it. It's a constant reminder.

You could give to a charity. If it gives you a thrill, or gives you satisfaction, then do it. Write a letter; it's personal and it doesn't take up space. I don't believe in material things, I guess.

It's nice to get thanked, but you don't need it over and over. I don't know if it's annoying, but it's excessive. Enough is enough. They say the person who gives is rewarded more than the person who gets the gift.—Interviewed by Fareed Mostoufi

See more Old schooled