Confronting alcoholism

Dear Old Schooler: One of my close friends has become an alcoholic, and now she can’t hang out for an evening without downing a bottle of wine and a couple of beers. I told her that I thought she had a problem, but she laughed it off, and we haven’t discussed it since. Is this out of my control, or should I do more?
—A concerned friend, 21, Soho

Arthur Polite, 72, Upper West Side
If people have got alcohol problems, that’s their problem. I had friends that drank a lot. Of course, a lot of them, they gone. You’ve got some [people] that can really drink; you’ve got some that can’t. Then you’ve got some that are right crazy. It all depends on the individual. If you want to tell her it’s making you uncomfortable, you can tell her. But there’s not too much you can do, anyway. It all depends, you know—everybody’s not the same. There are a lot of people you can’t talk to when they drink. Sometimes they’re sober, and you want to talk to them, but they don’t want to hear it.

I’ve had some friends deal with this. I talked to them and whatnot, but I never got too much involved. Do the best you can. You try to help them, just like I have. My first wife: Take her, for example. She drank a lot; I tried to help her. She finally did come around, my wife. We’re good friends now, [but] her drinking had an effect on my life, and my daughter’s, too. It did affect me.—Interviewed by Fareed Mostoufi