deliver a right-good spanking

Proceeds from Actors Repertory Theatre’s SpankFest for Art, Sat 26 from 7 to 11pm at Epiphany Theater (154 Christopher St at Washington St, 917-463-1097), benefit the new erotic stage comedy Euphoric Tendencies. We asked playwright, spank fan and ART managing director Tanya Marten for a few open-handed pointers.—Drew Toal

Illustration: Atsuhiro Saisho

Step 1: Assume the position
The classic over-the-knee setup is tried and true, but other scenarios are just as naughty. Tell the spankee, or “bottom,” to lie flat on their stomach or bend over a piece of furniture, and drop their drawers.

Illustration: Atsuhiro Saisho

Step 2: Warm up

Administer some test spanks and gauge their reaction using various implements (hand, paddle, hairbrush, etc.). Vary the tempo and intersperse spanks with tender rubbing and kneading.

Illustration: Atsuhiro Saisho

Step 3: Game time

“Don’t spank on the tailbone or any part of the sacrum,” warns Marten. “Just stay on the fleshy parts, and be careful with the tops of the thighs! They bruise easily.” If the bottom starts to bleed, stop right away.

Illustration: Atsuhiro Saisho

Step 4: Après spank
Rub Arnica Gel (available at any health food store) on the bottom’s bottom after a particularly heated session. With disciplinary spankings, place the bottom in a corner to emphasize their bad behavior. Bad bottom!