Big ups!

“If you take the t off diet, what happens? You die. You need food. I don’t believe in eating lettuce with no salad dressing. That’s nasty.”

Illustration: Rob Kelly

Large gals have no bigger champion than Mo’Nique. The zaftig comic played the sassy matriarch on UPN’s The Parkers, and she made history as the first female to host Showtime at the Apollo. But the former plus-size model has also kept busy proclaiming her message of ample acceptance, as in her 2003 book, Skinny Women Are Evil; her TV show Mo’Nique’s Fat Chance, a reality beauty competition for women sizes 14 and up; and now her new movie Phat Girlz, in which she not only stars, but serves as executive producer. Before Mo’Nique reached single-name status, she was Monique Imes from Woodlawn, Maryland. These days, she lives in L.A. with her fiancé, Sidney Hicks, and last October she gave birth to twin boys (she has two older sons from a previous marriage). The warm, raspy-voiced actor, 38, was in Detroit promoting Phat Girlz when TONY reached her by phone to talk fashion, food and phone sex.

Time Out New York: I noticed on the website for Mo’Nique’s Fat Chance that contestants must be in excellent mental health. Are a lot of troubled women auditioning for the show?
Mo’Nique: Not so much troubled, but I do think society has beat us up so much that some women can’t jump over that hurdle. Come out of the darkness. Let’s be okay with our fat stomachs and our big legs and our big butts.

TONY: I’m all for women feeling good about their bodies. But how do you address the health concerns linked with being overweight?
Mo’Nique: I tell women to dedicate one hour every day to their health: Take a walk, go to the gym, dance around. Everybody’s like, “If you’re overweight, you got high blood pressure, you got diabetes.” They may be right, but you’ve gotta do something to get that under control. Do you have to get liposuction? No—because that’s not only unhealthy, it’s unnatural. If the doctor says, “Mo’Nique, you’ve gotta exercise to stay healthy,” okay. But I’m not gonna stop eating that piece of chocolate cake.

TONY: I read that you once worked for a phone company in Baltimore.
Mo’Nique: I worked for two different phone companies. I worked for a phone-sex line. I didn’t talk to the men, but I used to process the calls. Girl, some of the stuff they were saying—I was like, “Can you do that?” Then I worked for MCI.

TONY: Which job did you prefer?
Mo’Nique: I loved the phone-sex line. [Laughs]

TONY: Did that job inspire some of your stand-up material?
Mo’Nique: Of course. You know what I enjoy about my stand-up? It’s very real to life. I’m not saying something like an algebra problem. You get it. My comedy is in layman’s terms.

TONY: Are there any more stand-up tours in the works?
Mo’Nique: I’ve never stopped doing stand-up. One of the things I’m really excited about is performing at the Ohio state women’s prison. I can’t wait to say to those women, “You’re still valuable. You just made a mistake.” Oftentimes, we just throw people away. Like with fat girls. Nobody ever banks on a fat girl. No one in this world would have banked on Oprah Winfrey being a billionaire, because she was a fat girl.

TONY: Have you ever been on a diet?
Mo’Nique: If you take the t off diet, what happens? You die. You need food. Here’s my hand to God—I have never in my life been on a diet. I don’t believe in eating lettuce with no salad dressing. That’s nasty.

TONY: Your character in Phat Girlz starts a clothing line called Thick Madame. What’s the most flattering outfit for a thick girl?
Mo’Nique: Something that shows off her body. Oftentimes, we’ll pull on something that makes us look like a box.

TONY: At places like Lane Bryant, that’s pretty much all that’s offered.
Mo’Nique: Right. There’s nothing that fits your curves and clings to you. It’s  unfortunate, because that’s a big girl’s store. We discriminate against each other too.

TONY: How so?
Mo’Nique: You ever notice when there’s a whole lotta women together, there’s only one fat girl? All you fat girls, go get a fat girlfriend and have a ball. I have me a fat girlfriend. We did a world tour about three years ago. We went to the Delaware State Fair, then we went down to the Bahamas and went naked down to the ocean. And we didn’t care what anyone thought.

TONY: Why do you think that movies with black men playing older large women, like Big Momma’s House and Madea’s Family Reunion, are so popular?
Mo’Nique: Because that’s what we know; we have them in our own families. But no woman wants to play that role. She’s fat. She’s not wearing those fabulous outfits and the beautiful makeup. I can’t wait to play a big momma.

TONY: Have you thought about writing another book?
Mo’Nique: My second book comes out in November. It’s a cookbook called Skinny Cooks Can’t Be Trusted. It has the kind of recipes that say food is good. Don’t substitute it, don’t play with it. It’s the real kind of macaroni-and-cheese recipe. For good macaroni and cheese, you need real, whole, 100 percent butter.

TONY: What is your ideal meal?
Mo’Nique: Collard greens…mac and cheese…my mother’s homemade stuffing…fried chicken…and turkey wings.

TONY: And for dessert?
Mo’Nique: That would have to be my grandmother’s bread pudding.

Phat Girlz opens Friday 7.