Fest augmentation

Photograph: Courtesy of MSG Entertainment (left), Matthew Kreiner

THE OLD
The Radio City Christmas Spectacular has been providing joy and long legs for nearly eight decades. The Rockettes are possibly the only entities on earth with the ability to outkick Chuck Norris. Radio City Music Hall, 1260 Sixth Ave at 50th St (christmas.radiocity.com). Through Tue 30, $42–$250.

THE NEW
EndTimes Productions presents “Naked Holidays NYC ’08: Hide the Milk and Cookies.” Highlights (lowlights?) include terrorism among the elves and seduction at the north pole. The Gene Frankel Underground Theatre, 24 Bond St between Bowery and Lafayette St (endtimesproductions.org). Thu–Sat 7:30pm, Sun 3pm. Through Sun 28, $18.

THE OLD
The globe-trotting New York Philharmonic plays that classic messianic ode by George Handel in a seasonal performance at Avery Fisher Hall. It’s Messiah-rrific! 1941 Broadway at 65th St (nyphil.org). Thu 18 at 7:30pm; Fri 19, Sat 20 at 8pm. $30–$104.

THE NEW
For Kimya Dawson, Boxing Day isn’t about returning her gifts, but instead celebrating ten years of being dry. Friday 26 is her “10 Years Off the Sauce Extravaganza!,” with Akida Junglefoot Dawson, Malcolm Rollick and more. Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St between Bowery and Chrystie St (212-533-2111, boweryballroom.com). Fri 26 at 8pm; $15, advance $13.

THE OLD
The classic tale of miniature dancing infantry set to Tchaikovsky is back for its annual stint at the New York City Ballet. We’ll resist the urge to make an adolescent scrotal joke here. New York State Theater (at Lincoln Center), Columbus Ave at 63rd St (212-870-5570, nycballet.com). Through Jan 3, $10–$215.

THE NEW
The Salsa Christmas Party at S.O.B.’s on Friday 19 will be so hot, any snow in the general area will melt straight away from the heat generated by legendary Puerto Rican musician Yomo Toro and New York’s finest, Zon del Barrio. Hace calor. ¡Hace mucho calor! 204 Varick St at Houston St (212-243-4940, sobs.com). Fri 19 at 8, 10pm; $15.

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