Setting the record straight

Illustration: Eward McGowan

We’re a full 40 years into the queer-rights struggle, and still bisexuals are getting bad raps from both the straight and gay worlds—most recently and publicly in an April blog post, “Ever Meet a Real Bisexual?” by Michael Musto. “I’m just wondering how real a phenomenon this is, as opposed to a smoke-and-mirrors cover-up designed to keep antsy gays in the closet,” he wrote, to the chagrin of bi readers everywhere. But this weekend, bisexuals strike back with a series of events at the Center being called the Bi Visibility Weekend, which includes a dinner, a brunch, a Bi Lines writers event with readings and performances, and “Putting the ‘B’ in LGBT Summit,” a daylong Saturday event of workshops and panel discussions.

“As bi activists, we’ve always been frustrated with the lack of visibility and the attitude that basically we don’t exist,” says event organizer Sheela Lambert. She adds that last year’s national discussion over the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act—which raised transgender awareness but forgot, somehow, to mention bisexuals—was the impetus for the event, which aims to educate journalists, improve visibility and debunk the many prevailing myths about bisexuality. Here, a preview of the mythbusting from some Summit speakers.

Myth No. 1 Bisexuals are fence-sitters
Debunked by Robyn Ochs, marriage activist and Bi Summit keynote speaker

“The fence exists only in our imagination. We’re all individual people with individual experiences, and the categories we create are artificial. The idea that there’s a wall between gay and straight is a myth.… I don’t think there’s any one person out there who can meet all of our needs, no matter what the gender. When I think about the things [my wife] Peg doesn’t do for me, it’s not about what’s between her legs. Gender is just one of the many, many, many things about a person.…But silly, silly humans love their binaries.”

Myth No. 2 Bisexual men are really gay
Debunked by Ron Suresha, bi activist and writer

“The notion that anyone is 100 percent anything is just not true. The scientific research categorically refutes that. That kind of assertion usually reflects a really narrow view of sexuality of the person speaking. Most bisexuals are really quite comfortable with both sexes over the course of their lifetime.… Still, people say, ‘Oh, you can’t be bisexual.’ I mean, people tell you that! It’s like telling you you can’t like chocolate and vanilla, that you have to choose. It’s a real narrow-mindedness.”

Myth No. 3 There’s no such thing as a bisexual
Debunked by Sheela Lambert, bi activist and writer

“If we don’t exist, does that mean we don’t have to pay taxes? People have a hard time imagining bisexuality because they don’t have those feelings. Maybe for a few weeks in their coming-out as gay they thought they might be bisexual, but that’s it. I think the problem is because of this binary thinking we get into—that everything has to be straight or gay, black or white, good or bad. I guess people have no imagination.… We are accused of being in the closet, but often, in the LGBT community, what people are in the closet about is being bi, because they want to fit in and they want to be taken seriously.”

Myth No. 4 Bisexuals will always cheat
Debunked by Dennis Slade, Bi Request organizer

“That one infuriates me. In gay relationships and in straight relationships, people are cheating all the time. Open communication is what’s going to sustain a relationship. When we as bisexuals own our sexuality, then we can talk about it, and a lot of these problems and worries will go away.”

Bi Visibility Weekend events are Sat 30 and Sun 31.

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