Roomy open-air seating, Society

Photo: Ben Goldstein

535 La Guardia Pl between Bleecker and W 3rd Sts, 212-358-7995

This airy outdoor spot welcomes you with romantic lighting, loud music and a large deck outfitted with dark wood. It feels a bit like Margaritaville, but instead of cheap drinks and barflies, the beverages are pricey and the patrons are typically tight-bodied—a juxtaposition that somehow works. Head there with a friend or two, bring a Sharpie and a piece of paper, and be prepared for some so-crazy-it-just-might-work meet-and-greet.

step 1 Set yourselves up at one of the outdoor deck’s 20 or so tables. Choose one in the middle, where people will have to walk by you to get where they’re going. 

step 2 Fold your piece of paper in half, so as to make a table tent, and write something conversation-starting on it like psychiatric help: 5¢—à la Peanuts’ Lucy—although tour guide of manhattan works just as well.

step 3 Sit back and make pleasant conversation with your friend while you wait like the clever loverboy/minx you are. Pardon—clever and attractive.

step 4 No matter how dorky your shrink sign, an array of passersby will soon lob questions your way like, “Why hasn’t my ex-girlfriend called me back?” or “When is it okay to ask a stranger whether she wants a drink?” This is your chance to keep the conversation going with anyone you find interesting. Be playful and fun, and if someone comes along who creeps you out, just say, “Sorry, our time is up” and smile. Don’t forget to accept renumeration for your time in the form of a drink. Try the Bob Bob, which is a double shot of Absolut with muddled limes and peach Snapple for $17. Too rich for their blood? Suggest that you split it.

step 5 If you really connect with someone, excuse yourself from your makeshift info booth to join your new love object’s table (making a joke about breaking your rule of not dating patients). Since the table service here is kind of slow, you might want to suggest a tandem bathroom break. The johns are coed, so you can go together, then saunter over to the bar and order a drink. Dance together to the ’80s and ’90s jams. Be silly: Shopping-cart and fish-on-a-hook dance moves are acceptable at a place like this, where acting like a Charles Schulz character actually works.