Sidewalk café, Athens Café

Photo: Ben Goldstein

32-07 30th Ave between 32nd and 33rd Sts, Astoria, Queens; 718-626-2164

Athens Cafe, an old-school Greek joint, is a relaxed coffeehouse and bar with sidewalk seating—a challenge for singles since it’s a confined space, but conducive to intertable banter, too. You’ll be amazed what you can do without leaving your chair. Late weekend afternoons or weekday evenings are the best times to find a young and lively clientele. Compared with the usual grumpy, old, half-deaf Greek customers, at least you’ll have a shot.

step 1 Roll into the café with a fun, outgoing group and keep the mood light. If it seems like you’re having an amaaaazing time, people will want to talk to you. This is what psychologists refer to as “social proof,” and it’s a simple way to influence people’s opinions without acting false. (If this sounds too Game-y, then go with friends you genuinely have an amaaaazing time with so you don’t have to fake anything.)

step 2 Positioning is key: You’re most likely to interact with groups adjacent to you. At Athens, the tables near the entrance are usually occupied by regulars (i.e., the aforementioned elderly Greeks). Instead, you want to be right on the triangular sliver of sidewalk where Newtown Avenue runs diagonally into 30th Avenue.

step 3 As soon as when you sit down, initiate conversation with someone—anyone. It feels less forced, and people will have noticed you walking in. Casually comment on someone’s coffee; everyone’s got an opinion on where to score a great cup.

step 4 Order a frappé. The caffeine buzz will make you chattier.

step 5 Props can be invaluable in a pickup situation. Bring a celebrity magazine like Entertainment Weekly or People, and make sure the person on the cover is of the same gender you’re trying to attract. At some point pick up the magazine as though you’ve been discussing it, lean over to the next table and ask, “Excuse me, we’re trying to figure out why people think [celebrity X] is hot. Can you help?” (Note: Be sure to have a response ready to move the conversation along, as in, “Really? I’ve heard he/she is gay in real life.”) And if the object of your affections has a prop—be it a book, magazine or bulldog—ask them about it.

step 6 If folks next to you have tired of your constant babble, keep your eyes up, and when you make eye contact with someone farther away, smile. Nervous types should try this: As you scan the eight other tables, think about a first kiss you remember fondly, or the time your Jeweled Bird whupped someone’s Lord of the Pit in Magic: The Gathering. Recalling this moment will make you look happy and a little self-satisfied—exactly what you want.

step 7 Still no luck? If you spot a lively table that keeps cracking up, they might have the sense of humor for this semirisky ploy, especially after one of Athens’ $5 Mythos beers: Take a cocktail napkin and write the question how sexy would you say i am on a scale of 9 to 10? At the bottom draw a check box marked 9 and one marked 10. Ask the waiter to deliver it to the person you’ve been eyeing. Someone will get a chuckle, even if it’s one of the grizzled regulars laughing at you.