What shade are you?

Puke green
(i.e., going too far)

Illustration: Wendy Plovmand

Your life is like that movie Say Anything…, except instead of obsessing over Ione Skye, you’re into hydrofluorocarbons, and instead of a boom box, you’re holding up reusable tampons. We’re not judging. It’s all good. It’s just a little…intense.

What to do: Take care down there

What you get out of it: That feeling of being close to nature—really close. Start a green day by eschewing synthetic clothing and donning 2(x)ist’s soy underwear, available at Bloomingdale’s (1000 Third Ave between 59th and 60th Sts, 212-705-2000). Besides being 95 percent soybeans, it’s also naturally antimicrobial—not that your knickers are dirty or anything, after all those easily digestible whole grains and seitan. Speaking of stains: Consider washable sea-sponge tampons ($13 each, when ordered at Columbus Natural Food, 725 Columbus Ave between 95th and 96th Sts; 212-663-0345, gladrags.com) for you and/or the women in your life. Besides saving valuable space in landfills taken up by the millions of tampons disposed in the U.S. every year, you’ll add a new monthly “disinfect the tampon in the sink” ritual (don’t use bleach—it’s bad for the environment!). And before you leave the house, use a urine-separating toilet ($929 at ecovita.net).

What the environment gets out of it: Regarding those panties, cotton production alone uses 55 million pounds of pesticides in the U.S. every year, while synthetic “permanent press” fabrics are often treated with formaldehyde to achieve that “no-iron” ease—which is fine as long as you don’t mind being slowly embalmed by your clothing. And urine is responsible for 80 percent of nitrogen and 45 percent of phosphate in wastewater. This commode allows you to turn your own waste into compost, kinda like in Waterworld, except you don’t drink it (we think).

What to do: Shop at…Wal-Mart

What you get out of it: Big-box items without the big-box guilt, if you believe the company line. After setting a goal of achieving zero waste in their stores, Wal-Mart became the little green megastore that could. Hop on the 320 bus at Port Authority for a 15-minute ride to the Secaucus Wal-Mart (400 Park Pl, 201-325-9280). While you’re making a statement in support of their lofty goals, note the attempts at decreasing packaging sizes on low-priced plastic knickknacks.

What the environment gets out of it: Wal-Mart’s newest green campaign has included saving 800,000 gallons of gasoline and emitting 11 million fewer pounds of greenhouse gas by using corn-based packaging. Of course, the retailer is still responsible for violating the Clean Water Act in nine states per store per day, paying the largest settlement for storm-water violations at construction sites in EPA and DOJ history. Its newest “green” push is “definitely a publicity stunt,” says Paul Blank, campaign director for Wake-Up Wal-Mart, a grassroots organization. “What’s unknown now is how much of the talk will turn to action; thus far they’re only talking about doing things that also save them money.”

What to do: Protest the Man

What you get out of it: As any college sophomore will tell you, protesting is the purest form of environmentalism, plus a great way to meet outdoorsy chicks and dudes. You can trek up to Canada to take part in a tree-sit (ingmarlee.com), but there are environmental disasters close to home. Pack your Nalgene and camp out in front of the demolition site where work has already begun on the Atlantic Yards development in Brooklyn—Ratner-free ’hoods are New York City’s redwoods.

Think passive resistance reeks of wussiness? Access to ecoterrorist cells can be difficult, what with them being illegal; start by making friends in the forums at the Animal Liberation Front (animalliberationfront.com). But aboveboard organizations like the ASPCA (424 E 92nd St between First and York Aves) are much tamer, and you can flyer without fear.

What the environment gets out of it: Your activism just may be what stops the Atlantic Yards project from increasing carbon monoxide levels at Atlantic and Flatbush Avenues from 5.4 to 5.8ppm by 2016, as the Environmental Impact Statement predicts they will.

What to do: Screw ConEd

What you get out of it:  As the sun sets, gaze upon your worm-composting unit (see “The worm churns,”) by eco-friendly candlelight. A make-your-own soy candle kit ($12, at wicksworks.com) gives you 120 hours of burn time.

What the environment gets out of it: A mere $800 later, the clean-burning light of the candles will have matched a single energy-efficient lightbulb’s 8,000 hours—almost completely soot-free. Head to bed on 100 percent hemp sheets ($329–$499 at rawganique.com), with duvet buttons made of sustainably harvested Amazonian tagua nuts, secure in the knowledge that you’re greener (and possible broker) than anyone else you know.—Allison Williams

Your Live Impact score 153

If you live in Manhattan (with three others) in a single-family home with two bedrooms, have an electric bill under $20, use energy-efficient CFL lighting, have 100 percent of your energy coming from renewable resources, walk or bike everywhere, never fly, and always recycle and buy local, your score is 153, with an annual carbon output of 0.1 tons.