Who knows more: New York librarians or the Pintchik Oracle?

A battle between the NYPL librarians and the Pintchik Oracle*, as posed by TONY trivia master Noah Tarnow.

Photographs: Jerry Goodman

Question 1: What percentage of outer-borough residents have never set foot in Manhattan?
NYPL: While we find limited anecdotal reports of residents who rarely visit Manhattan, we can’t find a reliable source (or even an unreliable source) that offers any statistics. Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz’s office replied with, “The real question should be how many Manhattan residents have never set foot in Brooklyn?”
Oracle: Being an equal-opportunity oracle, I will not respond to questions whose language discriminates against double amputees.

Question 2: What percentage of the world’s languages are spoken in New York City?
NYPL: Roughly 2.5 percent are spoken by NYC residents. This can vary greatly depending on whether the United Nations is in session.
Oracle: This is a more complicated question than it might at first appear, because (a) there is no definitive tally of world languages; (b) while languages are supposedly “dying” all the time, words and phrases continue to be used in other languages, so where does that leave us?; and (c) I don’t “speak,” although I do use a language, so where does that leave me?

Question 3: If every toilet in NYC were flushed at the same time, what would happen?
NYPL: We calculate that the mother of all flushes (MoAF) would consume about 12 million gallons of water. Given the sheer size of the water and sewer system, one would hope that the MoAF’s 12 million gallons all at once would not overwhelm the capacity to discharge freshwater or to receive the wastewater. Oracle: All of the shit would disappear at once.

Question 4: What’s the single most expensive thing in New York City?
NYPL: If by expensive you mean “for sale,” the most expensive thing ever sold in New York (that we were able to find) was Boston Properties’ 2008 $2.9 billion purchase of the GM Building. If by expensive you mean “valuable,” the Federal Reserve Bank of New York’s General Public Affairs office confirmed that it has $180 billion in gold bullion (6,000 tons).
Oracle: Is the Empire State Building a thing? Presumably. Is Michael Bloomberg a thing? He is, but how would one evaluate his “expensiveness”? His net worth? His ransom, if he were kidnapped? (The Oracle does not condone kidnapping.) And what do you mean by expensive? The one that would, theoretically, cost the most money if sold? But what about priceless things? My answer is breathable air.

* - The New York Public Library's Ask NYPL service provides answers by phone (917-ASK-NYPL) and online via chat and e-mail (ask.nypl.org). The Pintchik Oracle answers questions (but only when it feels like it) posed to it through the old pay phone outside Pintchik Hardware (478 Bergen St at Flatbush Ave, Prospect Heights, Brooklyn; 718-783-3333).

MORE NUGGETS OF WISDOM

While researching our questions, the librarians of the NYPL found these great tidbits.

McDonald’s reviewed by The New York Times
“So-So Hamburgers Better with Cheese; For Weekend Chef.” RAYMOND A. SOKOLOV, JEAN HEWITT. New York Times. New York: Mar 2, 1973. p. 44. McDonald’s Town House, 1327 Second Avenue (at 70th Street), 861-8095.

It isn’t hard to see why the McDonald’s chain waited until it had sold several billion hamburgers everywhere else in the country before slipping quietly into Manhattan. Land is too expensive for their customary parking lots and even too costly, apparently, for the big signs announcing the current hamburger tally.

This chicly located branch (one of several that have opened recently around town) has a bus stop in front, and people waiting for the bus huddled in the doorway of the restaurant, escaping the cold. There is a surveillance system (whose presence is advertised on the doorway and at every cash register) automatically snapping pictures throughout the day.Otherwise, this is a McDonald’s like every other. If you hated them on the road, you will hate them in the city. But you will have to admit that the service at the counter is amazingly quick and efficient and good-natured. …”

The myth of the Super Bowl Sunday “halftime flush”
Commonly cited proof of this tall toilet tale is the event that took place during Super Bowl XVIII on January 22, 1984. As the showdown between the Los Angeles Raiders and the Washington Redskins progressed in Tampa, Florida, a 16-inch water main ruptured in Salt Lake City. LeRoy W. Hooton Jr., the recently retired director of the Department of Public Utilities for the Utah capital, recollects that the burst pipe caused quite a mess. (The Raiders flushed the Redskins, thumping Washington 38–9.)The subsequent media attention turned into a flood of its own, particularly after a public-utilities field supervisor told a reporter that the “Super Bowl flush” was to blame. In reality, says Hooton, the aging Salt Lake City water system had been experiencing about 300 water line breaks a year, meaning the 1984 incident was not an unusual occurrence.“I was in the waterworks profession for over 49 years and I don’t think the Super Bowl had anything to do with the break,” says Hooton. “As I recall, there was neither an increase nor decrease in pressure measured in the water-distribution system before the break. However, once the ‘Super Bowl flush’ statement was published, it caught on and continues to surface every year at this time.”

Think you know more? Hit Tarnow’s Big Quiz Thing on Mon 2 (bigquizthing.com).

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