Gross anatomy: Guys

Hanging Brain

Not a mental condition, but the exposure of the scrotum—and scrotum only!—accidentally or on purpose. Also known as: sac attack, kangaroo pouch, dangling fruit.

Where to find: When it’s the result of poor ball control (older specimen, short shorts), the hanging brain can be spotted peeking out of its habitat along the farther reaches of Brighton Beach. For the intentional variety, look to where intoxicated males like to shame each other: the dorms at NYU and Columbia.

Whale Skin

When portly members of the male species—embarrassed by their girth—decide to cool off in a swimming hole without disrobing, the wet T-shirt becomes a clingy new skin, leading to more stares and vast emotional scarring. Also known as: shame shirt.

Where to find: The city’s public swimming holes open June 29, and many—including the Lower East Side’s Hamilton Fish and Brooklyn’s Red Hook Pool—are ideal for whale watching.

Moose Knuckle

When a male pours himself into pants that are too tight, the crotch rides his franks and beans so that they bulge out and assume a life of their own. Moose knuckle is the close relation of the camel toe. Also known as: split-tail, meaty mud flaps.

Where to find: Wild moose knuckles can be rounded up at the Saturday-night Awesome 80s Prom at Webster Hall, or wherever that era is offered tribute.

Coin Slot

Males who favor low-slung, baggy jeans—which, it seems, are never the most in-shape specimens—seem to revel in exposing the northern regions of their ass cracks when bending over. The coin slot is an amusing sight to fellow males in the pack, but horrifying to anybody else. Also known as: plumber’s butt, San Andreas Fault.

Where to find: During lunch hour, worker males from the Bank of America Tower sit hunched over on the nearby steps of Grace Plaza on Sixth Avenue, staring at females.

Also in this issue:

• We so horny: Ooh, yeah—can you feel it? Spring. It’s got us so...aroused. All that undressed flesh and sexy goings-on in the city. Wanna see? Come along for 33 things that make us hot.
• City stimulants: Indoors: Hot baristas...hookahs...Hellenic statues
• City stimulants: Outdoors: Eye candy on the beach, in the park, at the stadium...and dogs doin' it.
• City stimulants: Central Park: The Mecca of spring ogling deserves its own separate discussion.
• Carnal knowledge: Being horny affects more than your little brain. Armed with porn, we put five subjects to the test.
• Gross anatomy: Girls: When the weather warms up, the local animal life sheds its skins—and sometimes reveals more than you wanted to see.
• Gross anatomy: Guys
• Spill your spring fetish: Tell us what turns you on. It'll be our little secret.
• Horny Quiz: Women: What's your spring fever temperature?
• Horny Quiz: Men: What's your spring fever temperature?
• Sexy or skanky! Men: You decide! Rate the fashion of these potentially spring fever-afflicted New York men.
• Sexy or skanky!: You decide! Rate the fashion of these potentially spring fever-afflicted New York women.
• Reader fetishes: We asked what turns you on in spring and you told us. Often in detail.
• Summer movie preview: Your guide to what's out this season.