City stimulants: Outdoors

ARCHISEXTURE The Williamsburgh Bank Building (1 Hanson Pl, Fort Greene, Brooklyn)

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest

Coney Island’s July 4 phallic food orgy, in which contestants go down on plump cylinders of succulent flesh, brings out the beast in all of us. “Our most basic instincts deal with wieners and buns,” says competitive eater Crazy Legs Conti—living proof that even a chunky, dreadlocked white boy in a Celtics jersey gets play. “Men are impressed by my capacity,” claims Legs, “while women focus on my oral dexterity.”
1310 Surf Ave between Stillwell Ave and W 15th St, Coney Island, Brooklyn (718-946-2202)

The third-baseline at Yankee Stadium

We love watching boys swing their bats—and we don’t mind watching baseball, either. That’s why the closer we get to Jeter and A-Rod, the better. Keep your eyes on the ball and watch A-Rod grab his junk an absurd number of times per inning (one count was 19), or sit closer to Jeter to see more discreet cup-fiddling action. Plus, there’s beer!
The closest mere mortals can get at this point in the season: Section 16, Tier Box MVP 630, 632; a game-day ticket for these seats costs $65 (plus $9 for the beer). For more info, go to newyork.yankees.mlb.com.

Nelson A. Rockefeller Park

Sheep Meadow gets its share of eye candy on warm days, but you’ll also find tubby tourists, shade-seeking grannies and screaming kids. For a less polluted expanse of hotness, head to Rockefeller Park in Battery Park City. This is where hard-bodied Chelsea boys and West Village girls come to strip down and cool off after a jog in the Hudson River Park.
Chambers St at River Terr (212-267-9700)

Roof parties

An evening breeze, twinkling city lights and an open-air buzz: There’s something so Gatsby about a rooftop party in New York. No friends with penthouse digs? Try Bookmarks, the dreamy rooftop garden bar at the Library Hotel, where a concoction of bourbon, amaretto and bitters is named after the Fitzgerald great. 299 Madison Ave at 41st St (212-204-5498)

Mister Softee jingle

Mister Softee’s urgent refrain may make some people’s blood boil, but the effect it has on us is one of sweet anticipation followed by frosty satisfaction. It wafts up into your office window, reminding you that there’s frolicking (emphasis on the licking) to be done after work: “Sometimes people dance to it,” shrugs Ayajn Turac, who has been pumping cones—and listening to the tune—for five years. And does the song make him horny? “Me?” he asks, laughing awkwardly. “Nah.”

St. Marks Place

Japanese chicks, NYU hunks, six-packed stoners. People-watching becomes pulse-quickening when eyeballing the skimpy, libido-spiking outfits catwalking up and down St. Marks Place. Finagle a patio perch at bar Bull McCabe’s, order a Guinness and ogle the eye candy like a respectable deviant—out in the open, where people can slap you if need be. 29 St. Marks Pl between Second and Third Aves (212-982-9895)

Union Square Park

Dogs at Union Square Park

Doggy style rules at this pooch playground, located across from Diesel, as frisky canines act out our boldest, darkest domination fantasies with forcefully passionate couplings. On this stage, it’s poodle on pit bull. Chihuahua on beagle. And our favorite: golden retriever on—oh, yeah—cocker spaniel. It’s gross, really. And by gross we mean hot. Union Square Park near Union Sq West and W 15th St

Orchard Beach

Who needs the Hamptons when bathers hit this mile-long sandy strip dubbed the “Bronx Riviera”? A steamy, borough-spanning cross section of multiculti lovelies converge on the sands wearing barely more than their birthday suits. Consider the Long Island Sound your cold shower. On the Long Island Sound, in Pelham Bay Park (718-430-1890). Take the 6 train to Pelham Bay Park, then catch the Bx5 or Bx12 bus.

Getting drunk alfresco

Drinking outdoors leads to sex indoors—or sex outdoors, sometimes, come to think of it. At least that’s the promise of every delicious, nectarlike sip of sangria—white or red—served patioside in the lush outdoor garden of the Luca Lounge (220 Ave B between 13th and 14th Sts, 212-674-9400). Or for a nautical buzz, enter the Gowanus Yacht Club (323 Smith St at President St, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn; no phone).

Eyes, by Louise Bourgeois, in Robert F. Wagner Jr. Park (off Battery Pl)

Soccer players at Chelsea Waterside Park

Some of you are like Goldilocks when it comes to sexy athletes: B-ballers are too tall, and batters are overly burly (think Jason Giambi), but svelte soccer players à la David Beckham and Mia Hamm are just right. Leer at footballers flashing glistening thigh at Chelsea Waterside Park, where New York Coed Soccer League’s Thursday- and Friday-night matches (nycoedsoccer.com) make us get a heat rash. Eleventh Ave at 23rd St (hudsonriverpark.org)

Boys on bikes in Williamsburg

For folks who don’t find sweaty spandex or removable butt pads appealing—what’s wrong with you?—check out the comely male cyclists in B-burg. In lieu of Tour de France–like getups, the nabe’s guys on wheels—usually spotted around the Williamsburg Bridge—often sport boyishly cute outfits of T-shirts, jeans and chains, inspiring us to fantasize about asking them for a ride.

Harry’s at Water Taxi Beach

Bikinis, babes, Coppertone, baby oil, volleyball, dudes with hip bones rising out of knee-length trunks—all this would be steaming without alcohol. But Harry’s has booze. The outdoor bar is the best place to meet outer-borough hotties, their hipster hair matted (in a sexy way!) with even more sweet, sticky sweat. Opens May 25. 2-03 Borden Ave at 2nd St, Long Island City, Queens (212-742-1969).

Riding in a convertible

Pulling your top down on a busy Manhattan street is guaranteed to get you noticed. Add some sun, throw in the breeze, run over some rippled cobblestone roads and you’ll be really revved up. Airport locations are your best bet for scoring a Sebring convertible from hertz.com; something flashier—think a vette, Porsche Boxster or even a Mercedes CLK—can be had from Action Car Rentals (212-253-2299).

Pool parties at McCarren Park

Its pool may be dry, but McCarren makes us moist. When Les Savy Fav plays this Brooklyn park on July 9, they kick off a whole summer of making out in the beer line at the friendliest venue in the five boroughs. The horny headliner: the Slip ’n Slide. Slip. ’N. Slide. For info, go to thepoolparties.com

Compiled by: Joshua M. Bernstein, Laura Dannen, Michael Freidson, Ethan LaCroix, Clare Lambe, Kate Lowenstein, Alison Rosen, Dewey Selmon, William Tracy and Helen Yun

Also in this issue:

• We so horny: Ooh, yeah—can you feel it? Spring. It’s got us so...aroused. All that undressed flesh and sexy goings-on in the city. Wanna see? Come along for 33 things that make us hot.
• City stimulants: Indoors: Hot baristas...hookahs...Hellenic statues
• City stimulants: Outdoors: Eye candy on the beach, in the park, at the stadium...and dogs doin' it.
• City stimulants: Central Park: The Mecca of spring ogling deserves its own separate discussion.
• Carnal knowledge: Being horny affects more than your little brain. Armed with porn, we put five subjects to the test.
• Gross anatomy: Girls: When the weather warms up, the local animal life sheds its skins—and sometimes reveals more than you wanted to see.
• Gross anatomy: Guys
• Spill your spring fetish: Tell us what turns you on. It'll be our little secret.
• Horny Quiz: Women: What's your spring fever temperature?
• Horny Quiz: Men: What's your spring fever temperature?
• Sexy or skanky! Men: You decide! Rate the fashion of these potentially spring fever-afflicted New York men.
• Sexy or skanky!: You decide! Rate the fashion of these potentially spring fever-afflicted New York women.
• Reader fetishes: We asked what turns you on in spring and you told us. Often in detail.
• Summer movie preview: Your guide to what's out this season.