Julia's market watch

1 Look at the people whom you admire and figure out how they did it. Why do they really get a lot of dates (or not)? Why are they really happy with their partners (or not)? I’m betting you’ll find out a lot that surprises you (“gorgeous” girls don’t always get dates, “perfect” relationships have deep flaws).

2 Analyze how people (potential mates) perceive you. It helps to ask friends to be brutally honest. How do you come across, really? Get them drunk so they’ll tell you the truth.

3 Get thee to a Borders—and avoid the common misconception that in order to get something from a book, you must integrate its philosophy wholesale. Take what resonates with you, leave the rest. The books that helped me with dating (and, sometimes, life in general): Helen Gurley Brown’s Sex and the Single Girl; Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov; Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man by Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman; Sperm Are from Men, Eggs Are from Women by Joe Quirk; and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan.

4 If all else fails, buy a Victoria’s Secret Very Sexy push-up bra. Works for me!