Short circuit

The last time I used my gym membership card was to jimmy the lock to my apartment. But after my friend Mia claimed that a month of Physique 57 sessions changed her body, I figured I’d see what I could accomplish in half the time and signed up for 12 classes over the course of 15 days. (New clients can nab an unlimited monthly pass for $250; classes start at $26 each, depending on the package you purchase.)

The 57-minute-long workouts (the original studio is on 57th Street) have their roots in the Lotte Berk Method, an exercise technique devised by a British ballerina about three decades ago. In short, each session is a grueling marathon of isometric toning exercises that takes place in a carpeted room complete with a ballet bar, weights, exercise balls and straps—and they’re led by a group of fresh-faced dancers who look like they just stepped out of a Lululemon Athletica catalog.

But then, so does almost everyone in the class, which is frequented mostly by hypertoned females, both socialites and plebs alike (men are allowed, though none attended my class). The ladies are ripped, and barely into my first lesson, I realized why: After about ten minutes of fairly standard arm work, we moved to the bar and began a series of squats (on our toes, on our heels, with medicine balls between our legs). At one point, after about 20 reps of moving my butt down to my heels then back up to a sitting position (this after about 80 reps of alternate positions), I just sat down on the ground, which prompted the instructor, Shelly, to laugh and say, “Aw, you’re cute.” Yeah, I felt adorable. Particularly after we moved to the ground for two minutes of “thigh dancing,” in which we put our feet in a circle, lifted our pelvises and gyrated around (no joke!). It kills.

Legs and butt get worked in an extended series of leg lifts: at the bar, in a standing split and on the ground in a figure eight. And the abs get it big time through about five variations of sit-ups, involving straps, pads and the ballet bar.

In two weeks, I became much more coordinated and upgraded from five-pound weights to eight pounders, but even after 12 rounds I still couldn’t complete an entire routine (the choreography varies from class to class, but—like a persistent STD—the stinging and burning sensation remains). I do feel like my jeans fit differently—remarkable since my appetite had been out of control for the duration of the program, and due in part to the holiday season there was an uptick in my calorie consumption. Shockingly, though, I still managed to lose three inches in my waist, three inches in my hips and almost three inches in my thighs. That may not make me Lululemon catalog beautiful, but hey, at least I look better in my Modell’s tights.

24 W 57th St between Fifth and Sixth Aves (212-399-0570); 161 Sixth Ave at Spring St (212-463-0570); physique57.com