Ageless no more

Death and taxes may be life's only certainties, but for the past quarter century or so, the year-end appearance of Dick Clark on a Times Square broadcast stage has come awfully close. And, ABC has announced, December 31, 2007, will be no different.

What's interesting is that, whereas Clark's vitality as party host has, shall we say, declined, the man has probably never inspired more animated reactions and opinions among our Greek chorus of pop-culture observers. Bland bon mots over Clark's unbelievable Peter Pan qualities have given way to extensive, even passionate, arguments over whether he should exit the stage.

The blog, TV Squad, has carried the obsession perhaps further than anyone, with a point-by-point review of Clark's improvements from 2005 to 2006. (He missed the broadcast due to a stroke in 2004.) The critique rates Clark on overall appearance, coherence, timing and movement, and goes so far as to measure the man against a TV-host control group (of one), Bill Cullen. (Others consider Dick's performance falloff to be more clear-cut.)

Blogger Alan Sepinwall is equally torn over the merits of Clark's continued appearances. He seemingly argues himself into the pro and con positions before concluding, "As long as he wants to do it, I say let him." The authors of Jump the Shark are less conflicted; they state unequivocally, "Dick Clark is far too old to do any type of rockin' without breaking a hip." (Which reminds us, do you know how old Dick really is? Take our quiz to find out.)

Calcinator Death Ray, another blog, not only concurs that Clark is past his prime, but wonders how he landed the gig in the first place: "The thing I don't get…is how in the world did Dick Clark endure as a host/cultural icon? The guy really doesn't show much personality." (Or is this a twisted way of saying that Clark is going as lukewarmly as ever?)

But if you're American, and you swear allegiance to the flag, then your support should be squarely behind Clark, says Best Week Ever. He's an American icon, and as long as there are plastic (and other) surgeons willing to operate, then there is a place for him on TV.

Still, one BWE fan wonders whether Clark should continue to fill it: "I dunno. I love the guy, but his appearances after the stroke have been tough to watch. Even Johnny Carson EVENTUALLY knew when to hang 'em up." What, and let Seacrest get all this attention?

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve airs 10 pm on Monday, December 31, on ABC.