THEY WANT:
To hit McDonald’s for an American burger and shake
Instead:
Try a homemade rosemaryade, fresh blackberry soda or Hayride Hazelnut (liqueur, fig, maple syrup and milk) and a hefty burger (minus the McD-style limp bun and sad little pickle slice) at Stand (24 E 12th St between Fifth Ave and University Pl, 212-488-5900).
THEY WANT:
To wait in a long line and pay $20 at a museum
Instead:
Skip ’em and find masterpieces of similar caliber in less obvious places, like the Morgan Library (225 Madison Ave at 36th St, 212-685-0008; $12). Featured now: “Painted with Words”—an exhibit of Van Gogh’s letters to Émile Bernard, along with paintings and drawings.
THEY WANT:
To see the strike-affected How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Instead:
Try Peter and the Wolf, narrated by Isaac Mizrahi with the Juilliard Ensemble, it runs December 15 to 17 at the Guggenheim Museum ($35; 212-423-3587).
THEY WANT:
To walk by Carnegie Hall
Instead:
Visit Bargemusic, a concert hall on a moored boat (Fulton Ferry Landing; for tickets call 718-624-2083 or 718-624-4061, bargemusic.org). Upcoming shows include all-Bach cello suites on Saturday 1 and Sunday 2. Tickets are $35.
THEY WANT:
To wander aimlessly around Chinatown
Instead:
Do it! But make sure to eat dim sum at a good restaurant, like Oriental Gardens (14 Elizabeth St at Bayard St, 212-619-0085).
THEY WANT:
To hit the town…by going to bars in Times Square
Instead:
Chug at a brand-new spot like the Sixth Ward, a 1,500-square-foot beer garden on the LES (191 Orchard St between E Houston and Stanton Sts, 212-228-9888), or the new iteration of the Bourgeois Pig Café (122 E 7th St between First Ave and Ave A, 212-475-2246), which serves beer and wine.
THEY WANT:
To freeze their ass off on a sightseeing bus tour—and pay a lot for it
Instead:
Ride the Staten Island Ferry. Or take the 7 train into the city for a great vantage point as you rattle past 5 Pointz, an artist collective whose HQ is plastered in colorful graffiti. Stand at the front of the first car—the ride gives the Cyclone a run for its money.
THEY WANT:
To suck down Coronas at Private Eyes, where a dance in the private room goes for $400 or more
Instead:
Get a massage at White Lotus East (whitelotuseast.com)—it’s waaay more hands-on.
THEY WANT:
To go to Carnegie Deli, Tavern on the Green or Serendipity 3…and pay a lot for overrated food
Instead:
Have a butter-frosted cupcake—not from Magnolia, but from the equally good (some might say—gasp—better) Billy’s Bakery (184 Ninth Ave between 21st and 22nd Sts, 212-647-9956).
THEY WANT:
To go to a big, schmancy chain spa like Aveda for a massage and a facial
Instead:
Try an ayurvedic treatment at Ayurveda’s Beauty Care (99 University Pl at 12th St, 212-529-3300). The ancient Indian practice calls for completely natural products (a 55-minute abhyanga massage is $95; a 90-minute vedic facial is $120).