Cyberspace oddity

Photo: Matt Holyoak/Camera Press/Retna Ltd

When we heard that David Bowie selected Ricky Gervais to perform stand-up at the High Line Festival—the Office star’s first American stand-up gig ever—we thought it’d be a terrific idea to have the former interview the latter. Then we remembered that both men are freaking insane. Below, the resulting e-mail exchange. To find it even funnier, be British. (All times local.)

On April 10, 2007, at 12:08am,DBwrote:

Time Out New York wants me to do an interview with you. (Your “show” sold out, btw.) Shall we do one? I’m up for it; you can have me ask some questions that introduce what you want to say re: your “thing” (that’s American-Italian) to an American audience if you want (for a fee).

Failing that, would you rummage around for any of those clothes that you wore when you were in that New Romantic band [Seona Dancing]? I need something funny for my High
Line stand-up debut.

On April 10, 2007, at 5:25am,RGwrote:

I still wear the clothes I wore in the band, so I can’t let you have them.

On April 10, 2007, at 1:08pm,DBwrote:

So how are you Ricky? Looking forward to the New York High Line show? (We’ve started the interview. Keep this thread going, pal.)

On April 10, 2007, at 12:53pm,RGwrote:

I’m looking forward to it, yes. Next question please.

On April 10, 2007, at 6:03pm,DBwrote:

Okay. What’s the capital city of New York State? (I’m going out now to get some lunch, and I’ll expect your reply when I get back. You’re on your honour to not look it up. I’m really hungry.)

On April 10, 2007, at 1:10pm,RGwrote:

I just realised you may have been serious about doing the interview via e-mail (I find it increasingly hard to tell). So if you want to do it by e-mail, please just answer yes. Or “Yes Ricky, we should do the interview via e-mail.” Remember, no jokes. It will confuse me. There...that’s the challenge. Go.

On April 10, 2007, at 6:22pm,DBwrote:

Yes, but remember the interview has already started. Now, answer the “capital” question. (I really have to get some lunch, pronto. Do you speak American, btw? A good phrase book would help the act terribly. Also, think about what you want me to ask you.)

On April 10, 2007, at 1:16pm,RGwrote:

Well, the last time you went out to get your own lunch, I believe New York was called “New Amsterdam.” New York. New York is the capital city of New York State. Yes weird, I know. Lazy. They say “They named it twice,” I say they ran out of good ideas. Yes, I speak American. It is actually based on the Indo-Germanic language of English. What schmuck (yiddish) doesn’t know that? No wait—maybe New York isn’t the capital. It’s a trick question. I don’t know. What’s the capital? I’m such a putz (yiddish again). Oh, talk to the hand (modern American).

On April 10, 2007, at 2:41pm,RGwrote:

These are the questions I want you to ask me: 1. What’s your favourite Bowie album and why? 2. Which haircut do you prefer—the one I had on Young Americans, or the one I had on Aladdin Sane? 3. Do you think I’m cleverer than Elvis Costello? 4. I love Jesus, Sting, On the Buses, darts and haggis. What are your favourite things, Ricky? 5. Can I get a ticket to your sellout gig at Madison Square Gardens?

Yours,
David Herbert Bowie OBE

On April 10, 2007, at 3:10pm,RGwrote:

The interview:
DB: Hi Rick, how you doin’?
RG: Great. You?
DB: Sweet as a nut, son. What’s the crack with this old Highlander wotsit?
RG: High Line.
DB: What?
RG: It’s High Line, not Highlander.
DB: Whatever. Do you think I’d win Big Brother?
RG: Uh...I don’t.
DB: I would. I’ve got loads of fans.
RG: Maybe.
DB: Definitely. I did a song called “Big Brother.” I could sue.
RG: I think they got it from 1984.
DB: That was one of mine.
RG: Well, George Orwell originally…
DB: He wrote “The Laughing Gnome.”
RG: No, that was you.
DB: This interview is over.

Ricky Gervais performs May 19 at the Theater at Madison Square Garden. Sold out.

Plus:

• High fidelity: David Bowie curates the High Line Festival, recruiting pals Ricky Gervais, Arcade Fire and more to benefit the elevated park (which the fest isn’t on or, at times, even near). Our exclusive behind-the-scenes preview explains it all.
• Flipping the bird: Performance artist Laurie Anderson gets “weird” again, filling another show with feathered friends. A David Bowie interview.
• Pussy galore: The bizarre chanteuse Meow Meow gets ready to pounce.
• Cyberspace oddity: Exclusive! Bowie interviews Ricky Gervais by e-mail—sort of!
• Must sí: Ziggy zeroes in on ten Spanish-language flicks.
• Keeping track: More highlights of the High Line Festival.
• High Line: Behind the scenes: What does it takes to turn a stretch of land from overgrown weed patch to beautiful High Line? Adrian Benepe, commissioner of the Parks & Recreation Department, tells us.
• The Time Out New York High Line Guide: Your ultimate resource for swank eats, stylin' stores and everything under the trestle.
• High Line in progress: The developers of the High Line gave Time Out exclusive access to their bird’s-eye site photography. See how the construction zone stands today and a few details about what it will become.