Whee, myself and I

Dressler

[Ed note: This story has been extended with online bonuscontent.]

RESTAURANTS

Dressler
Pop into this vibrant bistro and you’ll find plenty of lone diners at the sleek black bar or at one of the restaurant’s two-tops. We don’t know if it’s the small or large New-American plates that provide food for talk, but the bartenders and fellow single diners seem amped for conversation. According to the staff, a few regulars have even become solo dining buddies. 149 Broadway between Bedford and Driggs Aves, Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-384-6343)

Gemma
The stylish bar chairs at the newest It spot (from the tastemakers behind the exclusive Waverly Inn) are a great perch from which to take in the restaurant’s chic dilapidated-gothic decor. But if you show up at dinner to try the buzzed-about wood-fired pizza and chocolate torta, bear in mind that you’ll likely be crowded by waiting diners. Instead, consider breakfast (7–11:30am daily). It’s quiet enough to snare a table. Bowery Hotel, 335 Bowery at 3rd St (212-505-9100)

Grand Central Oyster Bar
Park yourself at one of the insanely cushy barstools beneath the curvy Guastavino-tiled ceiling. The 94-year-old train-station oyster bar features 30 or so varieties of briny bivalves, and there’s a well-chosen wine list to match. The long counter and a dinerlike eating area provide the ultimate comfort zone: You’re just one of the crowd. Grand Central Terminal, Lower Concourse, 42nd St at Park Ave (212-490-6650)

BARS

Blind Tiger Ale House
If there was ever a place where you don’t need a drinking buddy, this is it. The bar is often dotted with private imbibers doing the crossword, reading The New Yorker or just shooting the breeze with the bartender. Yes, it gets packed on weekends, but the locals are friendly, and staffers will always find time to give a sample from the 28 draft beers and the impressive selection of hard-to-find brews. 281 Bleecker St at Jones St (212-462-4682)

Lolita
Tasteful works by local artists line the bare-brick walls of this Lower East Side joint. Come midweek or on a Sunday night (weekends here won’t suit solos) to discuss art with the barkeeps, or nab one of the mismatched chairs or sofas and delve into some reading. 266 Broome St at Allen St (212-966-7223)

O’Connor’s
Lone drinkers have been planting themselves at this run-down fortress of solitude since 1931. The barely lit Park Slope landmark is staffed by barkeeps who are friendly enough to chat when you want to, and experienced enough to know when to leave you alone while you dig into the new Harry Potter novel or just sit and watch the game on TV. 39 Fifth Ave between Bergen and Dean Sts, Park Slope, Brooklyn (718-783-9721)

ENTERTAINMENT

Cake Shop
It’s no problem flying solo at cozy LES nightclub Cake Shop. If you like the band that’s playing, it’s usually easy to squirm your way to the front and be that No. 1 fan, right in the guitarist’s face. If you prefer to lay back, one wall is lined with seats. Upstairs you can sit down with a coffee and play the role of indie-rock bohemian, or head to the back room and dig through crates of old records, solitary in your pursuit of that one hidden gem.

The Kitchen
When it comes to watching dance alone, there are weighty considerations: location (you don’t want to arrive too early), endless intermissions (they make you suicidal) and the theater itself (when you’re going solo, you need the snuggest, darkest black box imaginable). The Kitchen, on the western edge of Manhattan, is a bit desolate, but even better than the sensation that you’ve left the city behind is the theater itself—dark and intimate, it feels like a womb. 512 W 19th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves (212-255-5793, thekitchen.org)

718 Sessions
There’s a 1976 song by the Trammps called “That’s Where the Happy People Go” that features the lyrics “I used to spend most of my time just being alone, yes I did.” It’s a tune that DJ Danny Krivit frequently drops on the decks at his monthly roving 718 Sessions, and with good reason: The soulful-house-and-classics affair is one of the most welcoming parties around, where anybody—man or women, straight or gay, black, white or Asian—can feel right at home. Updates are available at dannykrivit.net.

Next Wave Festival at BAM
Trekking out to Fort Greene, Brooklyn (and navigating the labyrinthine hub at Atlantic Ave), to see deconstructed German classics or audience-snubbing modern dance can be one culture vulture’s delight and another’s dismay. At the same time, BAM has increasingly been programming safe stuff, like British tours of Shakespeare (yawn) or commercial dreck like the dance version of Edward Scissorhands (ick). So if you simply must see everything at BAM’s essential but sometimes maddening Next Wave Festival, fly solo. You’re bound to find fellow aficionados at the snack bar, and you won’t have to suffer a friend’s icy glare during that long, uncomfortable subway ride home. Oct 2 through Dec 16 (bam.org)30 Lafayette Ave between Ashland Pl and St. Felix St., Fort Greene, Brooklyn (718-636-4100)

Happy Ending Series
Going solo to a quiet and sparsely attended author event can cast a depressing light on the solitary nature of reading books. If you’re alone, try a reading series that will remind you that books can still generate excitement and a communal spirit. The Happy Ending Series is an excellent bet. Hosted by author and droll MC Amanda Stern, the event brings excellent writers to the stage, and requires them to do something embarrassing as well as read. Plus, it’s in a darkish bar, so you can people-watch without getting busted. 302 Broome St between Forsyth and Eldridge Sts (212-334-9676)

Film Forum
We’ve always thought one of the greatest joys in life is going to the movies solo: no waiting for tardy companions, no negotiating over seats, no need to share snacks. For cinemagoing-for-one, nothing tops the pleasures of Film Forum (fittingly, you take the 1 train to get there). There’s plenty to do in the lobby before the picture even starts, like deciding which Cheryl Kleinman baked good to buy or reading all the assiduously assembled press materials pinned on the wall next to the ticket-holders line. 209 W Houston St between Varick and Sixth Ave (212-727-8110)