Trip #6: Euro rail

FRIDAY
Kick off your Continental trek by scooping up souvenirs from the fjord-blessed northern regions at sleek design depot Scandinavian Grace (167 North 9th St between Bedford and Driggs Aves, Williamsburg, Brooklyn; 718-384-7886). Its modernist housewares and quirky gifts, such as Icelandic wool hoods embellished with knit mustaches and seal-shaped jumpsuits, won’t strike you with buyers’ remorse like that Viking-shaped key chain. Don’t miss NYC photographer Annika Sundvik’s large-format portraits of Swedish hot-dog munchers in the adjoining gallery space. If staring at tube steaks has awakened your appetite, quell hunger pangs with pizzalike pistokku—Sardinian flatbreads—and excellent vino at cozy enoteca D.O.C. Wine Bar (83 North 7th St at Wythe Ave, Williamsburg, Brooklyn; 718-963-1925), where toasts are as likely to be declared in Italian as English at any of its worn wood tables.

Work off your meal to the pumping techno soundtrack at discotheque Club Europa (98 Meserole Ave between Lorimer St and Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn; 718-383-5723), whose neon-lit dance floor is often crowded with Polish locals. Don’t worry if you’ve had one too many Zywiec beers: Just stumble across the street to bunk with a grungy crew of international backpackers at the hostel-like Greenpoint YMCA (99 Meserole Ave between Lorimer St and Manhattan Ave, Greenpoint, Brooklyn; 718-389-389-2705. From $43).

SATURDAY

Grab a brioche at Parisian-style patisserie Payard (1032 Lexington Ave between 73rd and 74th Sts, 212-717-5252) before gawking at the Hellenic nudes in the Met’s revamped Greek and Roman Galleries (1000 Fifth Ave at 82nd St; 212-535-7710. $20 suggested donation), where you can bone up with a mini art-history lesson of pieces dating from 900 B.C. to the 4th century A.D. Then fast-forward to 20th-century German and Austrian art at the intimate Neue Galerie (1048 Fifth Ave at 86th St, 212-628-6200; $15). If you’ve already had your fill of museums, catch a 3pm matinee of one-man show Tom Crean: Antarctic Explorer (running until Sept 9) at The Irish Repertory Theatre (132 W 22nd St between Sixth and Seventh Aves, 212-727-2731; from $55). Head southeast for sangria and Spanish tapas at Xunta (174 First Ave between 10th and 11th Sts, 212-614-0620), where you can perch on rum barrels and watch flamenco dancing.

SUNDAY

Nosh on an apple turnover and strong coffee at old-world bakery The Hungarian Pastry Shop (1030 Amsterdam Ave between 110th and 111th Sts, 212-866-4230) to bolster yourself for a trek through four acres of medieval France at The Cloisters (Fort Tyron Park; 212-923-3700. $20 suggested donation), where wings culled from five Gallic monasteries house tapestries and stained-glass windows. Hop the English Channel at Tea & Sympathy (108 Greenwich Ave between 12th and 13th Sts, 212-989-9735) for a proper cup of Earl Grey and English fare such as bangers and mash, shepherd’s pie and roast beef with Yorkshire pudding. For food-based art, stop by the Ukrainian Museum (222 E 6th St between Second and Third Aves, 212-228-0110; $8) to view its Technicolor collection of pysanky, traditional, ornately painted Easter eggs.

While you’re in the nabe, take a schvitz at the Russian & Turkish Baths (268 E 10th St between First Ave and Ave A, 212-473-8806; from $30), whose Russian Platza treatment is like an old-world beatdown with oak leaves. Show off some of your freshly toned skin by sporting a kilt to sample Scottish delicacies like offal-packed haggis at St. Andrew’s (120 W 44th St between Broadway and Sixth Ave, 212-840-8413)—they offer more than 50 different scotches if you can’t stomach sheep’s lungs. After dinner, get hip to Vladimir Moravek’s Czech flick Bored in Brno at 8pm in the Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden (29-19 24th Ave at 29th St, Astoria, Queens; 718-274-4925), where no passport is required to return home.