-
-
Ad Space
(728 x 90)
-
-
Ad Space
(120 x 240)
-
Offers
-
Talk back
Sophie Flack
What has it been like to dance these past few months since your termination?
It was very painful. At first I felt ashamed and embarrassed, and then I felt rage toward the administration that made the decision to terminate my contract. Towards the end, I mourned my lifelong love of dance and the close relationships I’ve formed within the company. That kind of intimacy isn’t ordinary. I could have made the decision not to return to work once I was laid off, but I decided instead to have the experience of my last performances and have some sense of closure. My boyfriend and I threw a party the night after my last performance to celebrate my transition. I chose to celebrate my long career at NYCB and share the transition into the “real world” with close friends and family. I feel very lucky to have achieved my dream; it’s formed the person I am today. More than anything, I learned the importance of artistic integrity and the power of laughter. The whole experience, honestly, feels like a part of me is dying and is going to die. Ever since I was a little kid, this is all I wanted to do and the only place I wanted to dance, and it really feels like I’ve gone through an entire grieving process—as if I’m preparing for my own death. I went through a very sad period. I had a total attitude at work, which I completely regret. I still have some anger. But I’m trying to come to a place of acceptance and peace. I really wish I could be a robot and just smile all the time and be like, I’m going on to better things! Which I am and I know that—I know it’s best for me, but I’m a very emotional being.It’s hard to completely suppress the anger and the sadness.
And it comes at weird times! I was anticipating that I was going to cry for three weeks straight. Instead it’s like I have PMS and I get grouchy at random moments—that’s what it’s like for me instead. My poor boyfriend! The more curious I get about other subjects besides dance, the more trite and silly dance seems in a lot of ways, but there are these extremely profound moments that you can’t find anywhere else.You have expressed being upset that there were going to be apprentices.
It just feels like he wasn’t truthful in the Times article. It’s really what I’m pissed about. They spun it a certain way; they announced Darci Kistler’s retirement very conveniently around the same time—that she was going to be retiring a year from now, which is unusual to announce a year in advance. It just feels like a lie. It kind of feels like they spun it the way they wanted to and it’s not very truthful. It doesn’t seem like it was a financial problem if they’re hiring new people, and I think that they did have another option. It would have been nice to leave on my own terms.Would you have been able to do that?
Probably not this year. I probably would have wanted another year. But the timing’s not bad.You had applied to Columbia before this happened. Were you going to study part-time?
Yes. There are a handful of people who go to Columbia, but it’s hard. A lot of them have had to take semesters off because they don’t offer classes at night or early morning. For example, Dena Abergel started at Columbia and had to switch to Fordham because there weren’t enough classes she could take. So I was anticipating finishing up at Columbia. It’s such a hard choice. It’s almost easier that they made it for me. I’m not thankful, but it’s a really hard choice.You approached me to do this interview. Why did you want discuss your termination in public?
I think it’s part of my cathartic process of grieving. But I also really feel like the public needs to know what’s going on; the way they spun it didn’t feel accurate. Why is that important? Maybe it’s selfish. I don’t know. Like I said in my e-mail, I’ve really never been the center of attention as a member of the corps, and I’m about to leave and no one knows I’m leaving. I want people to know I’m leaving even though nobody might notice. They’re just going to remove my name from the roster, and somehow I don’t feel right about that. It’s very hush-hush. And I’m not sure I agree with that.What would you change about the company?
[Laughs] If I were the director? Part of it might be that choreographers don’t want to come here because they don’t have enough time to rehearse their ballets, and I have to be fair about that, but I would prioritize. They want to reach a younger audience, and I think the way to do that is to work with more innovative choreographers. You can still do the Balanchine and the Robbins, but dance is evolving, as is the rest of the world, and the company should evolve along with it. I think that would be the number one thing. Peter has been immensely successful in keeping the company financially stable, but he has little interest in artistic innovation. Balanchine didn’t think the company would survive his death, and I think he chose Peter because he thought the company would have the best shot at survival with him as director. I don’t think he chose him for his artistic vision or creative abilities as a choreographer. The company is not keeping up with the movement of the rest of the art world because they have completely isolated themselves. It’s a completely self-contained world. In the windowless theater, it doesn’t even feel like we are in New York City. Many of the dancers live by the theater and rarely leave their ten-block radius. I just wouldn’t play it as safe. I wouldn’t try to cater to the audience. [Smiles] I don’t think as an artist you should cater to the audience, and I think there’s way too much of that.Your last performance was on June 21 as a tall fairy in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. How did it go?
I was so giddy with excitement and nervousness; it sort of felt flike I was about to graduate into the real world. Then right before I made my first entrance, one of my best friends, who was also laid off, hugged me and we cried together. Another friend was performing Titania, and when she saw us crying, she began crying too. Onstage I was very conscious about enjoying my performance. As I exited the stage for the last time, I looked at the audience and knew I would not ever experience the joy of performance again. I didn’t take anything for granted.1 | 2 | 3 | 4 EXCLUSIVE VIDEO Backstage at Sophie Flack's last show
Time Out New York / Issue 718 : Jul 2–8, 2009
Leave a comment
-
-
- Subscribe now and save 90%!
- For just $19.97 a year, you'll get hundreds of listings and free events each week, plus our special issues and guides, including Cheap Eats, Great Spas, Fall Preview, Holiday Gift Guide and more!
-
- Time Out New York respects your privacy. We will only use your e-mail address in order to contact you regarding to your subscription and to send you our weekly e-newsletter. We will not share this information with anyone.
-
-
Ad Space
(320 x 53)
Ad Space
(300 x 250)
-
Video
-
-
Most viewed in Dance
-
Ad Space
(160 x 600)
Ad Space
(160 x 600)
-
- Visit our sister sites:
- Time Out New York Kids
- Time Out Chicago
- Time Out London
- Time Out Worldwide
Sophie, this comment is coming rather late in the day, but -- thank you for your extraordinary honesty about an incredibly painful situation. May wonderful new experiences come your way -- I know they will.
How brave of you, Sophie, To "out" the inner world of NYC Ballet and the concentrated pursuit of a career as a professional ballet dancer. Having recently read an interview with the former ABT dancer-who now has a featured role in FINIAN'S RAINBOW on Broadway-I was struck by quite a few similarities in content shared by both ladies-being referred to as "kids"; the lack of any orientation, so to speak, to assist the average teenager who is hired for a company, to deal with the "world" of ballet.
Best of luck to you Sophie in the new phase of your life. NYCB might have been your dream, but there are hundreds of wonderful companies in the US that would love to have you as a dancer!
This person sounds like a child. She exhibits a pouty piece of art instead of effective behavior. She's twenty-five, which has always been a maturity divide, but she comes off as a privileged teen.
my daughter had the same thing happen in another ballet company!(laid off) she too was deeply hurt. her self esteem was trashed! she pulled herself up and she auditioned (her biggest fear was... that they were correct...and she is not "strong enough"). they were wrong. much interest was generated from a couple of the biggest companies in the country! and she found work.
i think the article in the new york times spelled out the emotions of ballet dancers really well. miami city ballet pulled the same thing letting go of 8 dancers and hiring apprentices! the dancers received their notices in the mail!
Sophie,I have waited years to have someone talk about what goes on in that building.Being an ex City Ballet dancer myself Iknow what you say is true,only there is so much more that went on and continues to do so.I quit one day because I couldn't take the verbal and physical abuse anymore.Peter is a disgusting example of a human being and shame on the board for covering up all his crimes.When will someone stop the maddness...
No true dancer could read your interview and see the video without weeping with you. Best of luck Sophie. You have it all and more is in store for you.
I deeply admire this woman's courage and spirit. Thank you for your art, Sophie.
How about starting a dance school?
OK...one door closes, another one opens. If you truly want to keep dancing, NYCB isn't the only excelent co. in the world, not even the only excellent Balanchine co. in the country. If you choose not to leave NYC, that's part of your choice. You aren't so old that you couldn't give contemporary ballet a go, a la Cedar Lake, tho I don't agree about their coreorgraphers. Artists & management rarely see eye to eye, so second guessing doesn't help. You have an opportunity here...use it wisely.
I understand your frustration, Sophie, but don't burn bridges...
Good for you Sophie. My years from 5 years old to 18 was a little similar to yours. I made a conscious decision at 18 to stop ballet (was one of the hardest decisions I had to make at that point in my life). I wanted to pursue an education b/c I knew deep in my heart that the ballet world that I fell in love with as a young girl was not the ballet world as a profession. I saw the red flags very early. You seem like a very talented woman and you will be just fine! Cherish the good memories!
You go girl! I really admire your courage and the strength in which you've handled yourself. I've heard that 15 dancers left NYCB...incredible! But you don't have to worry...You'll rock in wherever life takes you!
What a wonderful interview. I had a recent experience similar to Sophie (I was not laid off in such terms) and for a much smaller company, but many of the emotions, fears and frustrations are 100% the same. It is scary leaving any job for any reason, but being a dancer and the passions that come with it can really mess with your head. Thank you for this article!
Reading the last comment, I'm only left to think that you are taking out your issues on Sophie. Sophie: you have an amazing heart. Never stop believing in yourself.....
You want people to take you seriously in this article yet you make a video or yourself kissing a sponge? Sounds to me like you never really let go of Mom's hand and walked down the stairs to the gym.
let's get this straight: you don't wanna be reffered to as a kid but you paint pissed off portraits with neon and sparkles. You're interested in edgier dance yet you only ever optionally trained with classical teachers.This is all you ever wanted yet you're giving up because of a simple lay-off instead of auditioning elsewhere. You wanted more roles yet, in your meeting with Peter you couldn't even believe in yourself enough to say it in a non "whimpery" voice. con't...
Fellow ballet dancer here.....and it appears that you were too MUCH of an artist to be in a place that wanted you to be this "robot". Things are a blessing in disguise sometimes and you never now whats possible in this dance life of yours. Keep going. Get your degree and keep reaching. You have a voice and maybe its actually time that you go out and find people who will help you express that. Good Luck!
Bravo, Sophie - happy graduation!
As a total outsider reading this interview, my first thought is, why don't you go dance for another company? You're biggest complaint w/NYCB is that they should try different choreography. So why don't you do that somewhere else since NYCB is no longer an option now? You obviously have the talent, and if dance is all you ever wanted, does it really have to be NYCB or nothing? It seems like you still have so much more to offer the dance world at large.
You absolutely will be missed, Sophie; you have been a delight onstage. And thank you for your courage in this interview. I've been watching NYCB for 30+ years, and this layoff upset and angered me. I too am distressed that the company did not try other options. And if none were viable, why cut only from the corps, the hardest working and least paid? It seems unfair, unwise and unprofessional; we all could have expected better. The best of luck to you, Ms. Sophie Flack.
Really interesting and honest and heartfelt. I congratulate Sophie for her wisdom, courage, and artistry. I hope we'll be seeing alot more of sophie's artistic endeavors in the near future.
Lovely video--lots of great detail--nice quiet story. Thanks Time Out and thanks Sophie Flack...