Sophie Flack

Can you talk about how you were told you were being laid off?
It was rather impersonal. I knew exactly what [Peter] was going to say because my best friend had gone in right before me and was crushed, and she called me and told me exactly what he said. So when it was time for me, he basically repeated word for word what he had said to her.

How did you react?
I had told my parents, “I think I’m going to be laid-off—how should I approach this meeting?” At the time, I had the idea that I wanted to teach at the school. I love kids and I knew Darci Kistler was head of the six- and seven-year-olds program. I thought it would be a great side thing to do while I went to school. So I wanted to keep a good rapport since I was kind of asking for another job. I decided to go in and be really gracious and thank them for the time that I had. And it’s true—I am thankful. But it’s so complex. I can’t even sort it out in my head. It’s really a family. I mean, it’s not exactly a family, because they don’t love you unconditionally. I grew up with it. It’s all I really wanted, literally my whole life.

So how did it go down?
I thanked him. I said, “Thank you for these past nine years. It’s been an adventure.” And then I promised I wouldn’t cry, and of course I cried. I hugged him. That, I wish, I hadn’t done. [Painful expression] Yeah. And I walked down the hallway—there’s a long hallway from his office—and at the end, I burst into tears. It hit me, this is really happening.

Are you upset because you didn’t let him have it?
My friend, whose name I won’t mention, was shocked that he was letting her go. She totally gave it back to him and after she told me that, I was like, “Brav-o.” That’s exactly what I wanted to do. I’ve talked to our AGMA [American Guild of Musical Artists] representative many times since this has happened. They’re obviously upset; the company was given other options: pay cuts, a hiring freeze, but they didn’t want to do any of that. So [AGMA is] obviously upset with the situation too.

Do you have any other legal outlet?
I have a workman’s-comp case. Our rep said that he might have been more comfortable firing people who have a life outside the company. Which is so fucked up. In other words he would feel less guilt. I don’t really know what to say to that. I definitely fit into that category. One of the girls has a child. That’s something outside of work, but she may have to move home with her parents because she doesn’t have a job. And he’s hiring new apprentices. Of course it’s upsetting and I’m really not sure if it is financial. It seems like, in a way, he was just cleaning house of the people he didn’t like for whatever reason. That makes me sad. I think I’m an all right dancer; I know I’m not the best. So my guess is—the one reason Peter gave to everyone who was let go apparently was “You don’t take company class regularly.” It’s an optional class. He was careful not to mention anything he could potentially be sued over, like frequent injuries. I had a hamstring injury and I was out two years ago during Saratoga and [the rest of that] summer, but then I did Parents in The Nutcracker. And I’ve had some neck injuries also. Everybody gets injured. I asked if it was because I had been injured a lot and he said, “No, no, no.”

Did he give you any reasons?
No. What would he have said? Your breasts? [Laughs] I certainly wasn’t cast in certain things because of my breasts and that’s something I deal with a lot in my art.

I’m sorry to laugh, but it’s not like you’re a Scores dancer or something.
I know! [Laughs] I’m really not even that big. But there’s obviously a specific look. I guess that makes sense; it’s an aesthetic art form. A tad narrow-minded. At ABT, they’ve got some busty girls. I’m fine now; I love my body and I think if they have a problem with it, it’s them and not me, but when I was growing up it was really hard in school, because there was really no one to look up to with breasts. It feels good to be that for the young girls.

Can you talk about some of your frustrations?
Peter is an intimidating guy to talk to, but I spoke to him a couple of times. Just caught him coming from rehearsal and told him that I wanted to be challenged more. This is over the past three or four years. I set up a formal meeting last year. I really felt good and comfortable onstage and I felt I could take on more responsibility. And it wasn’t being reflected whatsoever in my parts. I was doing senior corps parts but my peers were doing more featured roles, and I had never done a featured role ever, and it just felt a little weird. I wanted to experience that! It was coming to the point when I was so frustrated—I thought, I have nothing to lose. I might as well tell him to his face, “I want to be pushed more.” So I set up a meeting; it took a lot of courage. I worked out with my dad exactly what I was going to say. It took two weeks to get an appointment. I finally came in, and I was so nervous—shaking—and I spoke to him in a whimpery voice and recited my memorized little speech: that I wanted to be pushed more, that I was coming back from my injury and that I had this new drive. He was really responsive and receptive. He said, “What parts do you want? Let’s look at the schedule. What do you think would be good for you?” And so we picked different things in the upcoming schedule.

Wow.
I thought, Oh my God, this is going so well! He was like, “That’s a great idea.” It couldn’t have gone better. And I left. Then I wasn’t called to the first ballet we had talked about. I think I approached him and reminded him, or I told Rosemary [Dunleavy] and she said, “Oh, you can come to the rehearsal.” As if nothing had happened! As if we hadn’t had that conversation. And then something else came up that I wasn’t called to, even to understudy, and it just became very clear that it was not going to happen. I was stressed out for a while because I realized, This could just be it. This could be how my career is going to be from now on. Is this enough? And a couple of months later, I was let go.

That is some weird timing. And it was your decision not to go to Saratoga?
Yes. This theater means a lot more to me. I’ve had spiritual experiences in the theater. I’m really going to miss it. And honestly, I’ve never liked going to Saratoga.

What will you miss?
The live orchestra. And those moments before, when you’re warming up backstage when you’re in the second or third ballet, and first ballet is going on and there are lights streaming through the side, kind of like the sun coming down through a cloud. The orchestra is so beautiful and there are all these different colors offstage and the lights are low. The lights are dark for a lot of our careers, really. It’s very calm and everyone is completely quiet backstage. I’m not religious at all, but the closest I’ve ever come to being religious is that quiet, meditative time. It’s not that I don’t think I’m going to find that anywhere else. I think when I create a piece of art, something similar happens, but that’s it really. The other thing I’m going to miss—and I keep coming back to this—is the ridiculous camaraderie between the female corps in the dressing rooms. Sometimes I can’t stand them, and they’re completely catty, but there’s something about being in the dressing room that really opens people up where they just say anything and everything. I’ve never had that experience except in the dressing room, where people are completely open to one another. There is something absolutely amazing about that and I don’t think that’s a normal work experience. We just share everything. It’s all out there. And we’re really funny together. We have really good laughs and sometimes the girls are absolutely catty and ridiculous, but that’s part of it, and there’s something beautiful about that too. There are so many facets to it. It’s not simple at all. I’m going to miss that. We’re doing ritualistic makeup and hair, the same every night. Sometimes we have music on and we’re chatting. We talk about dirty things and funny things and things in the news. I hate when they talk about catty things, but casting comes up. It’s always the same two people. But it’s part of it. It could be a sitcom or something.

Do you have rituals before certain dances that you’ll miss?
Not specific to a certain dance, really. We all say, “Merde.” For Serenade for some reason, because we start off very exposed, we all say, “Merde” and sometimes we go around and hug each other. It’s very sweet, that atmosphere. We know each other so well. We see each other completely nude regularly and we talk about our sex lives. Nothing is unacceptable to talk about. I don’t know any other friendships like that. This is such a specific environment to do that in. It’s not always positive, but nobody knows you better than those girls. I’m really going to miss that.

I think it might be good for you to get out of that.
Nancy Bielski said that! I don’t know if this is funny to say, but sometimes I think I’m too free a spirit for a place like that. My friend Jess Flynn left a handful of years ago, and she was the freest spirit. People just can’t survive. She’s not dancing at all anymore. She’s the funniest girl. She used to do these really funny routines backstage before a show. She reminded me a lot of Katie Morgan.

You’re so right—I never thought about that before.
There’s a real freedom onstage also.

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