Hey, Joan, can we talk?

STILL LAUGHING Joan Rivers will work till she’s 125.

Photograph: Rob Greig

Joan Rivers might have multiple personalities: red carpet ball-buster, Botoxified talking head, QVC jewelry salesperson, drag inspiration. But the unifier to the many sides of this diminutive septuagenarian is unadulterated, unrelenting chutzpah. She riffs on everyone from Helen Keller to Cher; no wonder the gays love her. Rivers is kicking off Pride weekend with back-to-back shows at the Gramercy Theater Thursday 25.

Do you think comedians have the right to talk about anything?
Yes. I put everything I think is funny in the act, and I think a lot of really sick things are funny. Bill Cosby once said to me that if only one percent of the world’s population thinks you’re funny, you’ll fill stadiums for the rest of your life, so don’t worry about the other 99 percent. I always think about that when I do a Helen Keller joke or a really bad-taste Anne Frank one.

You knew the legendary shock comic Lenny Bruce. How much of an influence did he have on you?
He blew me away. He was an amazing comedian, actually talking about important things. There was such humanity about him. Once, when I was in a terrible act called Jim, Jake and Joan, Lenny came to see it. We bombed so hard that night that I seriously thought about quitting comedy. But he sent me a note saying: “You’re right, they’re wrong.” I kept the note in my bra for six months.

You started out in the early ’60s working the clubs in Greenwich Village. What was that like?
Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, all of us were down there together. Bob Dylan was running around with a stupid scarf and never wore a coat; Simon and Garfunkel were wandering around with their dumb album Sounds of Silence but no one would listen to the tapes. It was an amazing time. There was a great honor between us. We all watched each other’s acts. Monday night we were at the Duplex, Tuesday night we were at the Bitter End.… Everybody knew everybody. But I was the only girl. I was the little college girl in a black dress who was playing strip joints!

Why do you think you’ve been so successful for so long?
The thing is, I’m happiest when I’m onstage. Laurence Olivier once said to me, “I look out at the stage and it’s all mine. I own it.” When I walk onto a stage, it’s like that as well. Also there’s no memory lane in my act. If you’re a certain age and are coming to see my show for a bit of nostalgia, don’t. I’m still competitive. I still want to be the best. Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.

So what things are annoying you at the moment?
Jeez, where to start? I’m sick of Jennifer Aniston right now. Enough with the whining, get over it. I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third-world country is a fool. The list goes on.

You’ve had a pop at lots of celebrities over the years. Have any of them taken it personally?
Some have, but I’m not here to make friends. The ones that I like are the ones that get it. Like Cher, she was furious when I took her out of my act. When I was doing Elizabeth Taylor jokes, she sent me a message saying, “Tell Joan I don’t mind.” That’s a classy lady.

You’ve talked a lot about getting older in show business. How has it affected you?
Comedians are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. It’s absolutely about what you are doing up there onstage in that moment. However, anyone that says looks don’t count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It’s the way humans work.

Joan Rivers is at the Gramercy Theater Thu 25.

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