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Joke of the year
Which of 2008's Joke of the Week comics deserves the honor? We've nominated our favorite nine. Read their jokes and click here to vote!
Ritchie Duncan
When I quit smoking, this guy suggested I hit the gym every day. You can’t tell me the best way to do something hard is to do something else that’s hard. “You wanna know the best way to quit heroin? Get into Harvard.”
Hannibal Buress
I got a fortune cookie the other day; it said I should invest in something fun on four wheels. I don’t know if that meant I should get a new car or a prostitute on one roller skate.
Jay Bois
In a show on plastic surgery, the doctor said he was the Picasso of breast augmentation. Is he familiar with the works of Picasso? “I’ll make your left breast jagged, while your right will be four times as large and melting into the shape of a cello.”
Jackie Monahan
I hate the word breast. But people look at me funny in restaurants when I order grilled chicken titties.
Matt Ruby
The other day I caught a butterfly. It had a tattoo on its lower back. It was a picture of a teenage girl.
Mike Drucker
In the Old Testament, God was angry and jealous, all fire and brimstone. In the New Testament, God is happy and forgiving. Man, what a difference getting laid makes.
Joe Mande
Judaism is like The Fast and the Furious, while Christianity is more like 2 Fast 2 Furious. They’re basically the same thing, except in the sequel the hero is Ludacris. Don’t get me wrong, I think Ludacris is very talented. I just don’t think he’s the son of God.
Todd Barry
I was dating a woman, and we had the sex talk. She goes, “Todd, I’ve had anal sex before, but don’t ask me who it was with.” I think if I made a list of every question I’d ask before that one, it would be a list of every question.
Louis C.K.
“I’m glad I’ve got girls. Boys, I feel weird about. I have nephews and they play in the sprinkler naked. Their little penises bother me. I have this irrational fear they’re gonna come over and fuck my nose with their little dicks.”
Time Out New York / Issue 690.691 : Dec 18–31, 2008
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Jackie Monahan made me LOL! Mike Drucker scored big for CLEVERNESS.
I am glad to see Mr Duncan no longer needs to call for peoples death to be funny.
Objectively Mr. Duncan has the funniest one here, I think, followed by Jay Bois and Matt Ruby
Jay Bois, please give your half of the abortion money.
Jay Bois' joke has a funny premise, but he's not really familiar with the works of Picasso either. Anything melting into the shape of a cello is clearly Salvador Dali, not Picasso.
Ok, all pretty funny, but I could do without Louis'. May the best joke win....
Ritch Duncan is funny -- consistently! Vote for him! His Third Fridays event actually does occur every third Friday. And - he's got new material and it's often pretty funny. So - if you don't like this one -- wait a month and see him live. . . And then if you still think he's not funny you can heckle him -- and then I get to laugh -- because he's better at cutting up hecklers than anyone in the biz. I say good luck to the others -- but really -- you should throw your votes to Ritch.
Great job to all the comics, but my favorite is Jackie Monahan's! She somehow got away with writing Chicken Titties!!!!!
Thanks much for including me TONY! Really, it's just an honor to be nomin...etc. -Matt http://sandpapersuit.com
I take it back. Comedians are really funny. I was just having a rough morning!
Matt Ruby's joke is an old one. I wish I could remember the name of the comedian who first told it, but I've definitely seen it on TV. All these comedian comments remind me why I dislike talking to standup comedians. Sometimes you need to contain your bitter jealousy. If your writing in this section is a sampling, then I'll bet there's a good reason your jokes weren't selected.
I'm using a mail in ballot to vote. It won't arrive for a few weeks and will probably be thrown out since I use an old fashioned pulley system to mark my selection on the ballot. HOWEVER...that said I'm definitely still voting for myself even though my Joke of the Week was in TONY last year. I didn't win then & it's really stuck with me. I can't sleep, I can barely over eat. It's really affecting me. And voting for myself, weIl, I just think it's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it.
What was your joke Sven? I too think there are some classics missing from this pool! JFOD, Curry, Ciletti or maybe those were in 2007.... Out of these I like Ruby's.
Me. Definitely me. Which is a shame, since mine isn't up there. If not me, then Jay Bois, but Jay, please understand that I am only voting for you, because I'm not an option. You are my second choice after me. I mean, it wasn't even close. The difference between how much I want to vote for me and how much I want to vote for Jay is dramatic. It's like Barack Vs. McCain. Not a contest. Yes, my joke of April 17th, 2008 was as important an event as the first African American major party candidate.