Broker confessions

Illustration: Ana Benaroya

Cooking the books
“Any shyster can become an agent—and they do. Everything is about the deal and the buck. But since apartment seekers get so fucked over by the system, I did my shystering for the people. I’d give clients fee breaks by cutting out my brokerage; I’d let them pay my cut off the books. On average, agencies charge a 15 percent fee, and an agent’s cut tends to be about a third of that. You’d have to feel it out first, but if your broker seems decent, and like he could use a break as much as you could, offer 6 or 8 percent under the table. If the building’s management company doesn’t keep records of who brings who in to see their apartments, a crafty agent might find a way to make it appear as if a different agency rented the space, saving you cash while pocketing some extra himself.”

Working the factories
“Companies like Citi Habitats or Manhattan Apartments say they have the most listings, but the truth is, some landlords don’t want to use big agencies anymore. They’re worried about having their building keys floating all over the city, and they don’t like dealing with a million agents, some with very limited experience. Those agencies will get a lot of the worst apartments that the landlords can’t rent. If you want the best listings, go to small, neighborhood agencies. Some of the best brokers work in a piece-of-shit office on the second floor of a tenement.”

Lying about size
“The square footage in listings is a total fabrication, so most New Yorkers have false ideas about apartment size. It’s rare for a listing to say ‘200 square feet,’ but that’s certainly bigger than a lot of the stuff out there. Before heading out with a broker, go to Ikea in Red Hook. The store has accurate floor-plan mock-ups; check them out and when a broker shows you a ‘500-square-foot’ apartment that’s more like 350, you’ll know.”

Getting double for nothing
“At sketchy brokerages, the broker may not tell the client if an owner offers to pay the commission. By law, you’re supposed to disclose that information, but a lot of agents don’t so they can double collect. An agent can collect something from both sides if she tells her client, ‘The owner is picking up some of the commission, and so the fee is only X for you.’ But collecting from an owner without full disclosure to the tenant is asking for legal trouble. It wouldn’t hurt to ask your agent if the landlord is picking up her fee; that way she knows she can’t take advantage of you.”

Feigning exclusivity
“Brokers often claim they have ‘exclusive’ listings for apartments. An exclusive is the best; they’re the nicest places, the broker can honestly say, ‘I’m the only one who can show you this apartment,’ and the deal can’t deteriorate into a broker catfight. A lot of agents lie about them. Try to verify that your agent is being honest by calling the landlord or management company to confirm the arrangement. If they tell you it’s an open listing, fire the guy’s dishonest ass.”

Getting screwed by Craigslist
“A lot of NYC real estate is owned privately, and owners are realizing that Craigslist is the best way to find tenants. I used to have a big account that decided to stop dealing with brokers. Now they exclusively list on the ‘by owner’ section of Craigslist. That website is putting brokers out of business. It gives renters access to tons of listings that only agencies once had.”

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