How to tell if your broker’s wack

• Wears a maroon shirt from T.J. Maxx that’s slightly too big
• …with plastic-looking loafers
• …and a gaudy gold chain
• Hair: just a liiiiiittle too much gel
• Was born after 1990
• Moved to New York within the past year
• Asks for 15 percent commission
• Doesn’t know the neighborhood she’s showing you; has to ask you for directions to the place
• Is the only white broker in an all-black ’hood. Awkwardly tosses around phrases like “This one-and-a-half bedroom is slammin’!” and “Other brokers are wack.”
• Tries, in any way, to convince you that the area you’re looking at is “up-and-coming,” “hot” or “the next Williamsburg”
• Doesn’t show you the place you called about
• Has car—car is actually a tandem bicycle

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